Posts Tagged: Tourism
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A Guide to Visiting Iceland on July 16th, 2014

Your day in Iceland begins on a bus, the Flybus, which shuttles along Iceland’s edge from Keflavik airport to Reykjavik. In ten years, you might be able to do this trip on a train that will carry a thousand passengers every hour. Iceland has never had a public train before, so it's possible that the first public train in Iceland will cater almost exclusively to tourists, whose numbers are projected to almost double by 2023.

Until then, it’s the Flybus, which traces a boundary between Atlantic Ocean and an inexplicable, bulbous network of volcanic rock. Observe as you travel that the treeless terrain, at once both traversable and inhospitable, [...]

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Come Visit South Australia, Where We Will Chop You Up And Turn You Into Sausage For Our Demonic Feast

"Just thought you might enjoy this singularly creepy tourism ad for the Barossa Valley in South Australia," writes a correspondent from Down Under. "The Barossa is a famous wine-growing and foodie area, so I can understand why someone thought 'Be consumed' was a killer line. Unfortunately when it's paired with Nick Cave's 'Red Right Hand' and South Australia's reputation as the serial killer state… well. 'You know you're never coming back', indeed." I kind of like this, but I am also of the opinion that pretty much anywhere you go in Australia you have even odds of ending up as the filling for a meat pie, so I guess [...]

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Some Revised Tourism Slogans

Acapulco: Not That Many Decapitations Per Capita

Touring The French Riviera? Well Heads Up Because For Some Reason The Casinos Make You Wear Shoes

Detroit — Don't Bother Locking Up When You’re Done

Berlin: Now With Flights To Barcelona!

Come To Sunny South Africa (Unless You Fear Black People, Of Course)

South Korea, Where That Quiet Weirdo From College Moved Shortly Before Never Being Heard From Again

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Dear America, Please Come Visit

Hey, America, howyoudoin'?

Hahaha, I kid! I know that's the sort of greeting so many of you associate with me, New York City, but I assure you I am much more classy and sophisticated than the impression given by the many television sitcoms and Hollywood exaggerations you have seen over the years. I exude elegance. I am, of course, the Greatest City in the World. You should come see for yourself!

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Slow Ride Around Yangon

The man was sick, or had been for hours. When he rose, finally, it was bright out and hot, and he determined that he would not be making it to the conference that day, and instead he would ride the train that went around the city. The way he figured it was, to sit upright, indoors, and work at looking interested was more likely to bring back last night’s nausea than the train. Getting sick in front of people he knew would be embarrassing. This way, if he did puke, it’d be with strangers he would never see again. And trains calmed him.

He packed a big bottle [...]

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Inside America's Ghost Tour Industry

If you're a man driving alone on a certain stretch of Archer Avenue on Chicago's South Side, you may see a teenage girl on the side of the road, thumb out, trying to hitch a ride. If you stop for her—which, being a concerned citizen, you'll consider—you'll notice her outfit's a bit dated: a white formal dress and the kind of dancing shoes you might find in the back of your grandma's closet. There's something a little bit off about her, but you can't quite place what it is.

She'll say her name is Mary and she'll ask for a ride home, just up the road. When you approach [...]

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Chernobyl: The Most Awesome Tourist Destination

"Background radiation in the accident zone is still well above normal," says CNN, about the Chernobyl exclusion zone, which is going to be opened to tourists! Awesome. I would love to go see this, actually. But also, says CNN, "visitors receive a dose comparable to the exposure they would receive on a trans-Atlantic flight." Got that? High radiation; just like flying to London.

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Public Apology: Dear Riders of The Powell-Mason Cable Car Line in San Francisco, Late Summer 1991

Dear riders of the Powell-Mason cable car line in San Francisco, late summer 1991,

Sorry for flashing you.

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Mobile Savagery: China Meets An Unprepared World

July 26th brought news items reporting two separate incidents of curious holiday gastronomy. First, tourists in the Paracel Islands posted pictures of a meal of Tridacna gigas—endangered giant clams. At the same time, vacationers in Greece snapped photos of themselves hoisting an extraordinarily rare "hexapus," only the second ever recorded, just before killing it and frying it in a nearby pub. Yet only one of these stories was largely used as evidence to feed an expansive and growing set of opinions about an entire nationality and culture.

Of all China's frighteningly fast advances, international travel is, in light of history, maybe its most stunning. Two decades [...]

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Welcome To Berlin, Now Go Home

The first in a pair of essays today on being an expat in Berlin.

When I first moved to Berlin this summer, there was a big piece of graffiti in the courtyard next to my front door. "Tourists fuck off," it said, in cheerful blue spray paint. It didn't really bother me at first—I wasn't a tourist, I was moving here; I speak German and have a German passport. And who loves tourists anyways? In New York, where I'd lived for the past six years, hating on tourists was part of what defined you as a New Yorker. Being rude to slow-walking Scandinavians wasn't just a way of [...]

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How To Handle Foreigners

With the 2012 London Olympics drawing ever closer, Britain's national tourism agency wants to make sure that the tradespeople of Knifecrime Island show their least stabby faces to international visitors. To that end, VistiBritain has provided a helpful list of foreign characteristics aimed at avoiding offense. They're all pretty great, but if I had to pick just five it would be these.

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What Should We Do This Weekend?

Help a tourist! "I know this is a semi-silly question with near infinite possibilities for answers, but what should I be doing to feel a little less like a tourist while I'm in Manhattan this weekend?"