Parental alert!!! Following yesterday's important warning about the "digital drugs" craze, newly discovered video evidence indicates that rapper Tony Yayo is DOSING young internet nerds with extremely potent Patron tequila THROUGH THEIR COMPUTERS!!! Also, Yayo's boss 50 Cent has become Max Headroom.

In a fine example of what Ann Powers defined as "violator art" in a 1999 Village Voice article-one which is now being taught as a four-credit humanities course at Mt. Holyoke!-50 Cent's G-Unit henchman Tony Yayo has been making some great, awful rap music lately.

So I've been trying to figure out this Glaceau Vitaminwater billboard that's up by the newspaper stand on the corner of Delancey and Clinton Streets. REAL VITAMINS NOT AVAILABLE ON CANAL STREET, it says. CHINATOWN GETS THEIR VITAMINS. That's all it says. Totally confusing. (Even if you ignore the grammatical error, which, let's give them the benefit of the doubt and assume it's intentional.) Even then, what does it mean?

God, snow days suck. Fun for the kids. For the parents of kids, who suddenly have to take care of those kids because the New York City public school system suddenly gets all Florida every time a few flakes, or a few inches worth of flakes, or maybe a foot of them, fall, not so much. Like today, I'm trying to watch rap videos.