Posts Tagged: The Way We ____ Now
18

How To Order A Croissant

Ordering a croissant is a perilous enterprise. It forces lovers of French pastries between the Scylla of pretension and the frying pan of provincialism. Actually that’s understating the case: The perils are not two, but manifold.

If you attempt the proper French pronunciation, krwa-san, and succeed, you’ll seem snobby. If you trip over the guttural R, as so many non-native speakers do, you’ll seem pseudointellectual.

If you go for the namby-pamby middle ground, kwa-san, replacing the guttural R with a W, you’ll sound terrible… and namby-pamby.

You could avoid these dangers by pronouncing the word in a straightforward American accident: kruh-sant. But then you’ll quite possibly become the [...]

1

Death Watch

Tikker is a normal-enough looking digital watch. Nobody needs to know that every time you glance down to check the time, you’re also checking on your death. It’s “the watch that counts down your life."

Unlike Tikker, ALARMclock has a sleek, faux-retro design, with simplistic LED display. Upon waking, the prototype tells you how much money and how many social network “friends” you have, along with how many days left you have to live based on fairly common demographic information. It's “the stuff that matters the most to the most people," according to designer Al Kelly.

Tikker received almost $100,000 in its Kickstarter funding that ended early [...]

11

Four People Whose Twitter Lives Are A Nightmare

1. The guy mistaken for a game developer

@jeb I think I found a bug when ever i open an enderchest it opens and closes continuously

— specialkplaysmc (@specialkplaysmc) August 26, 2013

Jeb Boniakowski is one of the lucky few people who possess a short, apposite Twitter handle directly related to his name: he's just @jeb.

He’s also one of the unlucky people who happens to share his Twitter name with someone or something else that people tend to tweet at on accident.

The other-world Jeb that Boniakowski is often confused for isn’t even called Jeb. Well, he is, after a fashion. Jeb is [...]

14

'Newsweek' Takes Bold Stance Against Tumblr's Struggle for Profit

The Tumblr of Newsweek, which still exists, unlike Newsweek, and which is run by the DailyBeast "senior editor for social media," announced a new policy yesterday. "You pin, we unfollow" was the communiqué—by "pinning" they mean the Tumblr commerce initiative wherein, for a small fee, one can make a Tumblr post "adhere" to the top of each follower's dashboard until each follower "clicks" upon the post to make it disappear. (By "unfollow," they meant that they would no longer choose to receive said pinners' posts in their dashboard.) "The pins are like dashboard cockroaches. Turn on the lights every morning and unpin, unpin, unpin, unpin, unpin, unpin, unpin," the [...]

15

The Age Of The "Drunk Phone"

"We were just doing global research with field strategists in understanding the role of beer in Saturday night around the world vs. other drinks. In studying beer, we started to discover that young adults cherish their smartphones and iPhones so much that they don't want to lose them if they have an epic night out. Now they take what they call their 'drunk phone,' a cheap low-end phone, so now they are carrying two phones because they don't want to lose their smartphone."

12

Florida Child Born in Florida Manner

"Ana Johana Irias, 26, was using an ATM near Northwest 36th Street and 13th Avenue when a teenager drove by one a bike and snatched her $800 gold necklace from around her neck. Despite being more than eight months pregnant, Irias decided to chase down the crook…. The crook eventually escaped by hop[p]ing over a fence…. Police convinced Irias to get checked out at Jackson-Memorial Hospital. Doctors there discovered that she was in labor, and shortly after the new year's came, at 12:15 to be exact, Irias gave birth to 6 pound, 6 ounce baby girl named Kimberly." —Naturally.

16

"The Top 10 Most Beautiful Women Executed in China"

I really call the methodology of this list into question. I'm sure there were plenty of beautiful women executed in China that just weren't photographed well! When will we give these other executed women appropriate credit for their astonishing good looks? (Related: "NSFW: When Does The Portrayal Of Young Girls Become Too Sexualized?" Well, one thought: perhaps when it's put in a highly clickable slideshow.)

33

Ask Polly: My Terrific Herd Of Friends Is Being Ruined By This Awful Freak

Dear Polly,

I'm part of a group of friends that have known each other for many years. I treasure this group and want to be friends for a long time to come. Unfortunately, conflicts have been coming up here and there over the last couple of years, it seems to be escalating, and I'm at a loss as to how to make things better.

The problems mostly revolve around me and one of the other women in the group, "Jessica."

Jessica and I are very different people. She's an only child who, at age 40, still lives with her parents. Her mother does all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, even buys [...]

4

The Complete Tinder Glossary

As a rule, I don’t download time-sucking games onto my phone. Tinder is the exception. Back in May, when I first made space on my screen for that little red flame icon, I didn’t realize the latest online dating app craze was a game. But now I know. Last night my roommate, who met his boyfriend on Tinder, perched beside me for some vicarious swiping. “I miss this!” he said, as we watched the weirdos fly by.

That’s right: they’ve finally made an online dating service that is fun—nay, addictive—to use.

Like Zuckerberg’s original, verboten pleasure, FaceSmash, which asked Harvard douchebags to choose the hotter classmate between two [...]

0

"Yeezus" vs. "Born Sinner": Can J. Cole Compete?

Kanye West and J. Cole have a new found similarity: June 18th. After confirming Mr. West will release his sixth studio album "Yeezus" on June 18th, Cole decided to push up the release of "Born Sinner," his sophomore album. And the young artist may be building a bit of competition for Mr. West. Yesterday Cole released the third single from his album, "N***az Know," and the lyrical demeanor of the single is flawless.

Cole is right. Mr. West is one of the greatest. The man cannot be ignored. He has 21 Grammys and five platinum albums and Cole is displaying immense confidence to even go up against that. [...]

31

Brooklyn Smug Reaches New Hideous Heights

"Oh, it's terrible in Manhattan, we can only imagine how awful it must be in Brooklyn," Manhattan people were emailing the night of the storm, before they couldn't really email any more. Yes: most of Brooklyn lost cable TV for about six hours. There were some twigs about on the broad sidewalks too. Although, the DVRs still played! So most Brooklynites didn't notice much of a thing, outside of the devastation of Red Hook and some more localized disasters, except when Brooklyn was blinded by the Ghostbusters-like shooting lights of Manhattan's power transformers exploding.

Now lots of downtown Manhattan hold-outs turned have-nots are refugees in Brooklyn—except for the likes of [...]

119

You Are Not a Curator, You Are Actually Just a Filthy Blogger

"Curation is replacing creation as a mode of self-expression." – Jonathan Harris @jjhnumber27 #creativemornings

— Tina Roth Eisenberg (@swissmiss) June 1, 2012

As a former actual curator, of like, actual art and whatnot, I think I'm fairly well positioned to say that you folks with your blog and your Tumblr and your whatever are not actually engaged in a practice of curation. Call it what you like: aggregating? Blogging? Choosing? Copyright infringing sometimes? But it's not actually curation, or anything like it. Your faux TED talk is not going well for you if you are making some point about "curation" replacing "creation" because, well, for [...]

126

I've Become an Amazing Mom in the Six Hours I've Been Sober

From time to time we offer our space to normal, every-day people with opinions to share.

The bottles clinking in the bottom of the stroller, the shame of my own special sippy cups I'd sneak in the pumping booth at the office: it was all too much for me, so I stopped drinking six hours ago. Earlier today I was an alcoholic mom with a secret; now, I'm a proud mom in recovery, who's learned from her mistakes, with the help of my partner, Brechlin [not his real name], who threw me out of the house late last night but let me back in earlier this morning. I'm all better! [...]

21

I'm Permalance No More! "Thank You Very Much for Your Contributions to AOL"

I left the corporate world in 2008 to write about music and entertainment because I wanted to work from bed, only leaving to maybe smoke joints with Kid Cudi while asking him pretentious questions about string arrangements. I don’t ask for much! During this time, my main gig has been permalancing for AOL Music. There, I aggregated content about hip-hop and indie rock, with a stray shot at actual journalism—attempts which were usually trumped by stories about Rihanna deboarding a plane or Jay-Z making funny faces at Madison Square Garden.

And then, in early February, AOL purchased the Huffington Post and handed over its editorial keys to Arianna Huffington. [...]

6

The Writer Who Beat The System: How One Woman Resurrected Her Sexy Vampire Brothers

J.K. Rowling recently told Wonderland magazine that Hermione and Harry would have made a better couple than Ron and Hermione. It shouldn’t have mattered. Apart from the fact that we’re talking about the romantic lives of make-believe wizards, not only would Roland Barthes yawn at the author’s opinion about her own work, but the fans had already paired off Harry and Hermione themselves—nine years ago.

But the opinions of authors can’t help but feel more canonical than the things we internet denizens dream up ourselves—particularly when you take into account the connotations that the term "fan fiction" carries for most people.

L.J. Smith’s newest book, [...]

2

Spam Dad

NO COST ACCESS TO SLUTS IN YOUR AREA

Whats up Alanhanson09, my son–

What if I told you, you could get any girls you wanted to fuck, right now, in your area? I guess you would doubt that, but fact is, everyone no matter what you are, how old or young, how much money you can make, CAN…haha really! I mean, i COULD, but I guess the SEVENTIES were a bit different, you and I

      you and I? we are pretty similar, i have a $10,000 business offer i want to share with you my business. See, I own a business by age 25, actually, what have you done by [...]

36

The Five Worst Kinds of Co-Workers

So, according to New York magazine, a local woman has quit her job and, with her husband earning a "low-six-figure income," she has decided to raise children and not work at all! What an amazing specimen. But this isn't your grandparents' housewifery. "This is not the retreat from high-pressure workplaces of a previous generation but rather a more active awakening to the virtues of the way things used to be," claims New York magazine, discussing how said lady rubs her husband's feet when he comes home. ("Active awakening"! I'm really stuck on that language. I think it says that on a package of live yeast in my refrigerator? Also: [...]

10

The Worst, Most Darkly Hilarious Thing to Ever Happen on Twitter

Here it is, the most unfortunate thing to ever happen on Twitter. Congratulations to Mother Jones co-editor Clara Jeffery! I feel bad for laughing about this, but what can you do? Twitter should give your avatar a special ribbon for this.

21

The Latest Sad Fate of an Aggregation Serf

What’s new, you might ask, in another tale of careless youth broken on the galley of journalism? Well, someone in power finally stood up—sort of—for the little guy.  In a column on the resignation of 20-something Elizabeth Flock after charges of “a significant ethical lapse” and “serious factual errors,” the Washington Post’s Ombudsman Patrick Pexton said, you know what? The newspaper was just as culpable as the reporter: “The Post” he wrote, “failed her as much as she failed The Post.”

As stirring as it is to find a hint of post-hoc compassion in a professional culture where any mistake appears increasingly to be fatal, the question is: [...]

3

The 1% Don't Live in Traverse City

Anthony Ciccone (not to be confused with the, uh… (*puts one finger aside nose*) other one) is the tabloid tale of the weekend, being 1. Madonna's other brother (not the gay one who sold her out with that trashy memoir) and 2. homeless.

Anyway, it all sounds better in German: "Madonnas großer Bruder bettelt auf der Straße‎"! Or Italian: "Madonna lascia il fratello Anthony a vivere per strada"! Even French: "Le frère aîné de Madonna vit dans la rue." Oooh, la rue. But the original story is actually pretty great, with this headline: "Traverse City becomes magnet for the homeless: Madonna’s brother [...]