Rick Santorum, eager to show that he will stand up for Catholic values, has been saying things about the recent Health and Human Services regulation that now requires Catholic universities and hospitals to provide access to contraception and the morning-after pill. Santorum has accused the Obama administration of being "hostile to people of faith, particularly Christians and specifically Catholics.” He's even gone so far as to vow that he "will make it an issue every day of this campaign," until the Obama administration reinstates conscience protections. Santorum has also spoken up forcefully against same-sex marriage, which the Pope has—yes, again—recently condemned (in some really extreme terms, too).

Santorum [...]

"The Vatican has vetoed three of Barack Obama's potential nominees as US ambassador amid a growing dispute between the White House and the Roman Catholic church over the new administration's support for abortion rights and the lifting of a ban on stem cell research."

The founder of the International Association of Exorcists (I know) has come up with a theory about why bishops and priests just can't stop molesting children. It's Satan! Also "cardinals who do not believe in Jesus, and bishops who are linked to the Demon." There is Satan there too. He also noted that Satan "makes fun of me."

"You'll get up to 2,000 euros … Do not touch his balls. You need the money. Put on some music, take out the [inaudible], swallow the Viagra, and adelante!" Annnd that is how the pimps work in the Vatican. Unless this wiretap transcript was somehow misconstrued? MAYBE, like with Rod Blagojevich, and who knew any of us would still be able to spell that name without Googling it, that was a perfectly innocent conversation between the fella who allegedly handled the choir boys at St. Peter's and the former head of the Holy See's Public Works Department, which, I'm sorry, I have to go WORK ON MY SCREENPLAY ABOUT [...]