Posts Tagged: the seasons

The Best Thing About New York City in the Fall

The best thing about fall in New York City is that it smells less like piss.

"There's something about New York City in the fall," says DNAInfo. "In honor of this change of seasons, we asked New Yorkers to share their favorite things about being in the city this time of year." Among the answers:

"Crisp air. Turning leaves. Knicks b-ball"

"Thousands of kids."

"Leaf-peeping at @TheBronxZoo"

"The return of hot drinks and the natural colors of the season!"

These are all nice things, but none of them are as nice as how, in the fall, you smell less piss. I walk the same block most days, [...]


Seasonal Disorders

I don't know about you and where you are, but I hope it is nice out and you are not dealing with Catastrophic Weather or anything, like a flood or a hurricane, or a fire, which maybe isn't technically Weather, but if there was more rain-weather, there'd be less fires on the Five-Day Forecast, right? In Baltimore, where I am, it remains hot and humid, so I am still enjoying Summer. I'm not even thinking about Fall yet, because that's Sept. 21, OK? Right now it's Summer, still.

But things keep getting mixed up. Like right now, it's getting toward the end of the Baseball Season, which equals Summer, but [...]


Fall Preview

Autumn will start off with a series of false beginnings and vague feelings of dislocation as summer lingers longer than everyone expects, even though summer here always easily extends into the end of September and sometimes beyond. When the days draw down and the sun starts to set earlier and earlier you will increasingly develop an overwhelming sense of opportunities missed and chances wasted as each event you had hoped to attend or goal you had your sights set on achieving becomes yet another adventure you opted out of under the empty promise that there was something better going on, and this endless buffet of poor choices will eventually lead [...]


The Seasons, In Order, As Ranked During The Season In Which One Is Considering The Seasons

Winter 4. Winter 3. Summer 2. Fall 1. Spring


Spring Is Never Coming Back

"On a recent day, it was warm enough to grill outside. So she put on some shrimp, then chopped spring garlic and tarragon, the first green plants she had growing. As a cheat, she added zucchini that had been grown somewhere else where it was warm." There is no spring, only endless winter bleeding into an early summer, so of course there are no spring vegetables, except ramps, those false flags of spring, hundreds of pounds of them, hoarded for the monstrous "rare eater who spends January, February and March waiting for ramps," who would put a child to death if they thought their liver tasted clean, earthy, [...]


It Is For A Variety Of Reasons That October Is So Totally Awesome

Hooray! It’s October, which really is a terrific month. It seems to get better and better every year, October. (Or maybe it’s just that all the others get worse and worse, and maybe October does, too. But a bit less dramatically so.) A smarter, more contemplative person might note that as we get older we’re more inclined to appreciate stuff like falling leaves, and the slowing of nature’s life cycles. One might make a date to go walk in the woods somewhere, to take full advantage of this fleeting blip of pleasant weather we get before the gloom and bitter cold of too-short winter days afflict us all with [...]