The plot recount of Lady Gaga's "Judas" video begins at 2'44", which is really all you need: "The video starts off with Gaga on a motorcycle with her motorcycle gang and her behind Jesus and Judas behind her and she's looking behind her shoulder looking at Judas and everything and then Judas gets in front of everybody and Gaga starts singing 'Oh I'm in love with Judas' and, you know, I'm not even looking at Gaga no more, I'm looking at Jesus on the motorcycle and I shouldn't even be looking at Jesus like that." This is true.

Ah, summer-the glorious, lazy days when we elderly folk try to find glorious, lazy millennials to do our bidding. (Late summer is when we old people complain when they go missing on drug benders and/or paid work.) This year, we took the most passive approach to summer interns: we took everyone who randomly applied! Completely self-selecting! And yet, a great crew. I asked each of these four young people to introduce themselves to you fine readers and to send in their most summery photo. [N.B. None of their presumably helicoptering parents even wrote their bios for them! Maybe the kids are alright?]

Have you heard about these outrageous billboards in Florida, that define rape and say that it is a terrible thing that should not be kept secret? Parents are upset that they're going to have to talk to their children about sexual violence, and therefore not ever not discuss it. These billboards are bad for children, because if they see them, the children will figure out something is wrong when Uncle Sid touches them. (WELL?) The best part is at the end of this local Fox report, in which the anchor asks, "Is there nothing that can be done about this?" And the reporter is like, "Well it's your tax money, [...]