Elderly Comforted By Warming Glow Of "Television" @10:15 AM
While the kids are busy texting, what are old people doing? Watching TV: "The networks still preach adults 18-49, but the Big Three are all expected to post median ages above 50 this fall — with Fox not too far behind. According to a recent study by former Magna Global EVP Steve Sternberg, the broadcast networks as a whole have once again grown older than ever. The five broadcast nets' average live median age this year — in other words, not counting DVR usage — was 51." Popular old-people shows include "Dancing With The Stars," "Deal Or No Deal," and "The News." 2
If You Can Remember Woodstock You Are Probably Taking Statins Now @10:45 AM
I used to believe that the Boomers were civilization's most self-obsessed generation, but the recent raft of reflections occasioned by the passing of John Hughes made me realize that maybe no one group of people has a monopoly on nostalgia and self-importance. Still, until Barack Obama pushes through those DEATH PANELS, we are stuck with the Boomers and their endless series of anniversaries for events that seemed earth-changing at the time but, with the distance of history, turned out to be just a bunch of people shitting in a field in upstate New York. That's right: The hippie fuckfest that was Woodstock happened forty years ago this weekend! Listen to the music or watch the documentary and then give your mom and dad a call and ask them all about it. You'll be performing an act of kindness: You know how old people love to talk. 12
