I was tardy for Adria’s 24th birthday celebration at The Golden Unicorn, an endearingly tacky dim-sum restaurant in Chinatown. To celebrate her somewhat belated transition towards a no-training-wheels adulthood (successful acquisition of an affordable apartment and a job away from coffee machines and people who want their bagels scooped out), she had decided to throw a large party.
My public excuse for my tardiness was “getting lost,” but privately the truth was linked to my inability to leave my apartment in time. One of Adria’s birthday presents was the shaving of my beard, leaving a gross moustache reminiscent of Nintendo’s Mario Bros or 70s gay porn. This DIY present [...]
When we talk about the dangers of the degradation of newspapers, and the rise of "journalism products," such as the execrable Metro free subway rags, this is what we mean. (Here is the text of the State of the Union, in case you were too busy playing videogames and having a life last night.) It's not like the State of the Union is much more than political theater, sure, but next-level cynicism does some serious eroding of a citizen's ability to think and respond constructively. Lazy advertising-vehicle "news" products engineered by demonic Swedes and thrown together by a warren of garbage-crunchers and distributed to harried subway commuters are actively [...]
E and Vince climbed up over the rim of the hill, and there they stopped to gaze down upon the ruins of the city below. Thirteen years since the SAG/AFTRA split-up and the city was still burning. Vast sections of the canvas below were nothing but charred smoldering dirt. And higher up, by the shell of the old Hollywood sign, they could make out the screams of anguish, the clatter of swords, the unholy battle cries of the Test Audiences as they stampeded down toward the deserted boulevards in search of fresh hot blood. A decade after they had fled, the marauders looked more zombie than human; more creatures infected [...]
Helpful hint: Don't file-share child pornography on your laptop, law firm partners. Probably don't do it on any other computer/in any other profession either?
Former brand manager and ongoing Goldman Sachs pal Meg Whitman, who I like to call "Little Satan," just for fun, spent $27 million on her campaign for governor between early January and late March. Why, that's 465 California teachers' average annual salaries, blown up in just 11 weeks! Why, that's $868 for every one of the 31,004 notice of default filings in February by California homeowners! But you know, she's a billionaire, and this is America, and she can buy a position to make your state more "business friendly" just like anyone else (who is a billionaire).
Dear Answer Person,
A legitimately terrible thing happened in my life. Parts of my life get recorded online. How should the terrible thing affect those parts of my life?
Emoticons Are Inadequate