Enjoy your government shutdown and your Turbotax, ladies and gents! I know I certainly am. That's right: just hanging out, measuring my "home office." Looking for some procrastination? Here, we can help, with some things you might have missed this week. See you Monday!

• "The big-step strut is usually done by female soul singers, none better than Tina Turner, who turned the big-step strut into a marketing campaign."

• "I probably failed to think of a half dozen people who would have been willing and able to write a blurb. If my own mother were Oprah Winfrey, I'd have skipped her and been like, 'Well, who [...]

Come tax time, many of the gays find themselves in a tricky and possibly leaky lil' tax boat. Instead of flying planes into IRS buildings, however, which is simply inappropriate, most of them, you know, find ways to mitigate the consequences of a GOVERNMENT-RUN PROGRAM OF INEQUITY. Says one expert: "Heterosexual married couples 'can arrange their affairs any way they want without a tax burden, and generally that doesn't happen for gay and lesbians.'" Where is the anthraxing and the outrage? Maybe gay people just don't ever have airplane pilots' licenses?