"'The bear promptly went inverted, with feet in the air, growling and crying at the same time, flailing with his feet,' Parker said. 'He actually rolled off the porch.' When it was done, the bear sat up, shook his head, seemingly to regain his wits, and then bolted 'faster than any bear I've ever seen,' he said." -Police Lt. Dave Parker describes tasing a "problem bear" which was spotted messing around with a fish fryer on the porch of a home in Anchorage's Hillside neighborhood. Parker hopes the tasing "will keep the bear out of further mischief."

Despite what their tabloid press would have you believe, crime in Britain has actually declined over the last ten years. What could account for such a sizable drop in a nation so fond of stabbery and generalized knifeplay? Perhaps we can attribute it to the efforts of the constabulary, who apparently believe no infraction too minor. Take the case of Peter Cox, motorist, as an example.