Posts Tagged: Tabloid
6

Prudish Child Files Suit

"The elderly residents of a Long Island nursing home saw their shuffleboards replaced by washboard abs when they were subjected a low-rent Chippendale’s striptease in the facility’s rec room, a new lawsuit claims.

The son of one resident — 85-year-old Bernice Youngblood — was shocked when he showed up for a visit and found a picture of his mom stuffing dollar bills — which are supposed to be locked away in her commissary account — into a dancer’s briefs."

She can't do what she wants with her singles? Come on now.

0

Courtney Love To Sue Everyone Maybe

Demon-love-magic-goddess Courtney Love has caught up with the identity thieves that have apparently been robbing Kurt Cobain's estate blind for most of the 00's. Now she is going to sue them all, says her lawyer. Isn't it neat when the evil people you imagine are stealing everything from you actually turn out to be real? There should be a German word for that. Also there should be a German word describing why your lawyer announces these things to the press. Normally, you just sue someone! Not announce you're going to sue someone.