Of the 43 million U.S. citizens who are between 10 and 19, only about 3 million have received naked pictures from someone by cellphone, survey says. And only a million of them have sent naked pictures of themselves or took naked photos of others to send! All this talk about sexting and that's all that's going on? That's about the usual carve-out for "people who will never hold elected office or teach or be lawyers," generationally speaking, so no need to work about the sexting epidemic. This is why you're supposed to have 3 or 5 children, so a couple of them can drop out along the path [...]

This is a very nice story about a fun renegade weatherman who is free to oppose global warming! This weatherman is in good company with other weatherpeople, it turns out. "Twenty-nine percent of the 121 meteorologists who replied [to an Emory University study] agreed with [KUSI's John] Coleman-not that global warming was unproven, or unlikely, but that it was a scam. Just 24 percent of them believed that humans were responsible for most of the change in climate over the past half century-half were sure this wasn't true, and another quarter were 'neutral" on the issue. "

The Daily News trumpets a recently-released study which says that, of 249 pregnant women in Upper Manhattan and the Bronx, those that breathed more truck and car exhaust had children who scored worse on IQ tests. (This appears in the August issue of Pediatrics, which also includes the shocking results of a study called "Paternal Depressive Symptoms During Pregnancy Are Related to Excessive Infant Crying." NO WAY.) This is some shocking data! Let's take a look inside!

Did you just get paid? You're gonna die, says some guy out of Notre Dame.

New York is the least happy state in the nation, according to some new study. In fact, the Tri-State area takes the bottom three slots on the list. Six of the ten happiest states are in the South. And what of Pennsylvania, thought by some to be our greatest state? A melancholy 41. Cheer up, everyone, it could be worse. Oh, right, it will be.

In a new survey of state prisons, the number of black people sent up-river for drug offenses is shrinking, for the first time in 20 years-and also the number of white people behind bars for drugs is growing. And still! No one really wants to mention that, despite this trend, in the time period studied (1999 to 2005), courts still put away on drug charges 41,000 more black people than white people.

In other important studies today: "A comprehensive review of House re-election websites by the University of Minnesota's Smart Politics blog found that GOP incumbents are 36 percent more likely to incorporate Old Glory into the banner of their page, with nearly half of all House Republicans positioning the Stars and Stripes as the main image on their website. Just a third of their Democratic counterparts prominently place the flag as a backdrop, according to a survey of 368 campaign websites." The reasons for the discrepancy between the two major parties is not made clear, but if I had to guess it's probably because Republicans love America more.

My favorite part of this study-conducted at the behest of shoemakers Jeffrey West-on "the language of feet" is that Professor Geoffrey Beattie, who supervised the research, "was the resident psychologist on all nine Big Brother series." That is some serious expertise right there. Anyway, your takeaway here is that if a woman moves her feet toward you, it means she totally wants you to do it to her. So keep that in mind.

The angry racist labor unions have released a study today that "proves" that, at nearly 1000 large American companies, more CEOS got raises in 2008 than had their pay cut. When will the unions stop trying to destroy America's competitiveness in the world? When will simple laborers stop using mathematics in such a vindictive, mob-like way?