Look, ladies, if scientist Stephen Hawking, whom we as a society have chosen to designate as the world's smartest man—the guy who literally wrote the book called The Theory of Everything—admits that even a person in possession of his vast intellectual capabilities and comprehension of the systems that make our world run cannot understand women, how do you expect someone of my much more modest intelligence to figure out why the hell you're crying? Get off my back. READ MORE

Jack White is to be applauded for the way the he's handling his "I-can-do-whatever-the-fuck-I-want" status atop the contemporary rocker scene. The three bands, the conservationist record label, James Bond themes, high-art ultraviolent videos. And now, best of all, he's releasing as a 7-inch single the audio track of "A Glorious Dawn"-the odd, and oddly affecting, Youtube hit from composer John Boswell that mixes autotuned clips from Carl Sagan's 1980 PBS special Cosmos (plus special guest MC Stephen Hawking) over chillout-room trance beats. Pitchfork's report on the matter also informs us that White recently refused to sing vocals on a collaboration with former Guns n' Roses guitarist Slash. Which seems slightly less important than Carl Sagan's uncanny resemblance to Michael Dukakis.

The British, for whom the slogan "mustn't grumble" is more aspirational than advisory, have finally found a reason to love their National Health Service: American right-wing demonization of the system. In the wake of Investors Business Daily's claim that if Stephen Hawking lived in the UK (which he does) the NHS would kill him (which it hasn't), Professor Hawking affirmed that he "wouldn't be here today if it were not for the NHS. I have received a large amount of high-quality treatment without which I would not have survived." British diplomats over here are trying to remain above the fray, but do note the following statistics. READ MORE

The British press reacts to Stephen Hawking's illness.

"Physicist Stephen Hawking rushed to hospital,"