The Awl http://www.theawl.com/ Be Less Stupid Tue, 26 Jul 2011 15:30:34 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.2 The Secret to Not Wearing Socks with Shoes http://www.theawl.com/2011/07/the-secret-to-not-wearing-socks-with-shoes http://www.theawl.com/2011/07/the-secret-to-not-wearing-socks-with-shoes#comments Tue, 26 Jul 2011 15:30:34 +0000 Choire Sicha http://www.theawl.com/2011/07/the-secret-to-not-wearing-socks-with-shoes A reader writes! "Since moving to New York, I seem to see a lot of bare feet in dress shoes. Is this a recent trend? Or a New York thing? In this heat, you'd think... that would make for some stinky shoes. I will occasionally go sans-socks if I'm wearing slip-ons or sneakers or going to the beach or something. but at the office? I don't know... Where do you stand on this?"

Well, I'll tell you where I stand. But it's embarrassing. There are these tiny, tiny fake mini-socks. THEY ARE FOR MEN. REALLY. And I wear them all the time.

So, among other manufacturers, Calvin Klein makes something hilariously called Men's Dress Shoe Cotton Liners. I know that sounds kind of like a maxipad. (There are similar products for ladies, obvs, both for the feet and for the boobs even too, kind of! But ladies know these things, so here I address the simpler sex.)

Do you want to be stank, boys? Here are things ladies don't like: terrible breath, terrible manners and terrible stank feet. Also several dozen other things but I'm not allowed to tell you those.

And sure. You will never, ever, ever feel less like a man than when you put these on. Honestly you will feel a little like a lady!

But! This is why I don't have stank feet and stank shoes but still look sockless! They won't necessarily hold up through, like, a three-hour workout and eight hours in the office and a night on the town, particularly? But they will prevent Death By Foot in general. It's worth it.

Or I guess I could just wear real socks but that seems so unsporting in late July.

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]]> A reader writes! "Since moving to New York, I seem to see a lot of bare feet in dress shoes. Is this a recent trend? Or a New York thing? In this heat, you'd think... that would make for some stinky shoes. I will occasionally go sans-socks if I'm wearing slip-ons or sneakers or going to the beach or something. but at the office? I don't know... Where do you stand on this?"

Well, I'll tell you where I stand. But it's embarrassing. There are these tiny, tiny fake mini-socks. THEY ARE FOR MEN. REALLY. And I wear them all the time.

So, among other manufacturers, Calvin Klein makes something hilariously called Men's Dress Shoe Cotton Liners. I know that sounds kind of like a maxipad. (There are similar products for ladies, obvs, both for the feet and for the boobs even too, kind of! But ladies know these things, so here I address the simpler sex.)

Do you want to be stank, boys? Here are things ladies don't like: terrible breath, terrible manners and terrible stank feet. Also several dozen other things but I'm not allowed to tell you those.

And sure. You will never, ever, ever feel less like a man than when you put these on. Honestly you will feel a little like a lady!

But! This is why I don't have stank feet and stank shoes but still look sockless! They won't necessarily hold up through, like, a three-hour workout and eight hours in the office and a night on the town, particularly? But they will prevent Death By Foot in general. It's worth it.

Or I guess I could just wear real socks but that seems so unsporting in late July.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2011/07/the-secret-to-not-wearing-socks-with-shoes/feed 47 Robot Taught To Provide Basic Human Need http://www.theawl.com/2010/08/robot-taught-to-provide-basic-human-need http://www.theawl.com/2010/08/robot-taught-to-provide-basic-human-need#comments Tue, 24 Aug 2010 13:30:05 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2010/08/robot-taught-to-provide-basic-human-need
Everyone is talking about this video which shows a robot bunching a pair of socks. I don't get it! I mean, I guess it's cool that we have built a robot that can pair socks together-I know it's a task I have a difficult time with-but the way everyone's going on about this video you'd think it was the funniest thing in the world. I can't understand what's so amusing. Is it the robot's appearance? Something about the color of the socks? The way it seems as if the robot is stroking the pole up and down, starting with the head and then moving more forcefully to the base and repeatedly rubbing until you imagine that the rod reaches climax and shoots its hot pole ejaculate into the waiting sock? The fact that the video is sped up? It's a total mystery to me. [Via]

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Everyone is talking about this video which shows a robot bunching a pair of socks. I don't get it! I mean, I guess it's cool that we have built a robot that can pair socks together-I know it's a task I have a difficult time with-but the way everyone's going on about this video you'd think it was the funniest thing in the world. I can't understand what's so amusing. Is it the robot's appearance? Something about the color of the socks? The way it seems as if the robot is stroking the pole up and down, starting with the head and then moving more forcefully to the base and repeatedly rubbing until you imagine that the rod reaches climax and shoots its hot pole ejaculate into the waiting sock? The fact that the video is sped up? It's a total mystery to me. [Via]

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2010/08/robot-taught-to-provide-basic-human-need/feed 7 Musical Odd Couple: Thom Yorke And Flea http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/musical-odd-couple-thom-yorke-and-flea http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/musical-odd-couple-thom-yorke-and-flea#comments Tue, 29 Sep 2009 12:09:54 +0000 Dave Bry http://www.theawl.com/2009/09/musical-odd-couple-thom-yorke-and-flea yorke fleaThis is weird. Thom Yorke has started a band with Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I can't think of two more different public personalities. The band does not have a name yet (I'll throw out "Arty on Your Pussy" as a first suggestion [Ed Note: Say what now?]) but they're playing two concerts next week in Los Angeles. I wonder if they'll come out in the old Chili Peppers' uniforms? (Careful at work: there are socks in this picture.)

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]]> yorke fleaThis is weird. Thom Yorke has started a band with Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I can't think of two more different public personalities. The band does not have a name yet (I'll throw out "Arty on Your Pussy" as a first suggestion [Ed Note: Say what now?]) but they're playing two concerts next week in Los Angeles. I wonder if they'll come out in the old Chili Peppers' uniforms? (Careful at work: there are socks in this picture.)

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