Social A's: How Do I Deal With These Crazy Racists? @5:00 PM
Dear Answer Lady,
I need help. I grew up in Idaho, a pretty, if somewhat backwards, state. Recently, an acquaintance from high school posted this on Facebook [sic throughout]: "Isnt this great? Americans have put a socialist into the White House – a socialist who wants to indoctrinate our youth with his socialist agenda. Hitler was able to spread his ideas by appealing to German youngsters. Dont let obama get a hold of our children. Socialism always fails." READ MORE 67
Social A's: Teen Email Disaster! @4:00 PM
Dear Answer Lady,
I am a totally unfamous novelist in my late twenties. I sometimes get email from readers but it's rare enough enough that I am usually taken by surprise when it happens. My "fan mail" is flattering but also sometimes unnerving and/or a pain in the ass. Sometimes the emails take the form of traditional "I really liked your book!" but other times they are totally random and weird. One time someone asked what kind of underwear I wear, and could I please send a used pair. Other times I get emails from teenagers. READ MORE 30
Social A's: How To Deal With Blog Comments From Yo Auntie @10:30 AM
Dear Answer Lady,
Tell me you deal with shit like this:
"A new comment on the post #1 "Clip from [my recent standup performance that I posted on my website, which is intended primarily to get me more comedy gigs]" is waiting for your approval.
Author: Auntie [redacted] (IP: [redacted])
Comment: Well sweetie, Umm I know things are different in the big city but let me tell you….people are the same everywhere. They are going to read into what you are saying [about bikini waxing] and think you are talking about things you were raised better than to talk about. Which, we know, isn't the case. I'm just telling you this because I am older and have more experience and you are just an innocent lamb living in a wolve's [sic] den (NYC). That aside, you are cute as a button! And, btw, when did you go to Brazil? That must have been a fun trip. Love you bunches- Auntie [redacted]"
Signed,
Social A's: Do I Have To Go Visit Those Babies? @1:30 PM
Dear Answer Lady,
I'm a lady at or around the age of 30, as are many of my friends. I live way up at the top of Manhattan, in faraway Inwood, but many of my friends live down under Manhattan, in faraway Brooklyn. When I want to see one of my Brooklyn-dwelling friends, we generally get together somewhere in between, so neither of us has to make the 1-1.5-hour trek to the other's house (and back, which is usually worse, or more expensive, on account of it being at night). READ MORE 27
Social A's: Should An Athiest Tell Family She Prays? @11:05 AM
Dear Answer Lady (Emily),
I'm an atheist, but many of my relatives are very religious. This doesn't come up very often—for one, I don't see my relatives that much—but when they send me cards they often make reference to God, prayers, blessings, etc. My cards say things like "Happy Birthday" and "Congratulations." However, I recently sent a get well soon card to my aunt who has a chronic illness. I know she takes comfort knowing that people are praying for her, but I can't in good conscience claim to be praying for her—even though I'm thinking about her and hoping for an improvement in her health. From their perspective, I think this sounds somewhat flimsy. READ MORE 30
Social A's: Do I Acknowledge The Plight Of Gays At My Straight Wedding? @2:14 PM
Dear Answer Lady,
At my wedding [Ed. Note: Damn, it is wedding season up in this advice column!] in fast-approaching 2010 I would like to somehow recognize those in the audience who were or are unable to marry because they are gay. A wedding ceremony inherently contains a wealth of self-aggrandizing pats-on-the-back, but I feel like it's doubly in-your-face-haha-we-are-getting-married for those who can't do the same. Our audience will have both family and friends in those shoes, spanning the Greatest Generation to Gen X. What is a tasteful way to incorporate this sentiment into our all-too-hetero ceremony?
Mr. Conflicted Vows-Taker
p.s. The ceremony is not in a religious venue, obvs.
p.p.s. I don't mean recognize like "Hey, Anne, she's out there and cannot…" but more generally. Also obvs. READ MORE 23
Social A's: When Two Men Fall In Love…. @1:00 PM
Dear Lady of Answers,
Last summer, I met the love of my life. He is entrancing, gorgeous, hilarious, unusual, and has many other good qualities. All of my friends, to a wo/man, are thoroughly, 100% approving. Lest anyone be bitterly judging me, please know that I had been dating extensively (and apparently wrongly) for TWENTY-THREE FUCKING YEARS. READ MORE 46
Social A's: Can I Drop Out Of This Crazy Lady's Wedding? @12:00 PM
Dear Answer Lady,
My roommate from freshman year at college is getting married and she
asked me to be a bridesmaid. We're not that close anymore, but we do
have a certain history—she was just a few feet away when I lost my
virginity, after all—so I had to say yes. But I'm one of those
unemployed magazine people and the cost of the wedding is turning out
to be too much for me. First, there was the PowerPoint presentation
about dress options (Wang, Lhuillier). Then there was an invite to
the THREE bachelorette parties in LA (her hometown), New York (her
current residence), and Vegas (to be festive?). I should add that each
invite came with a spreadsheet itinerary for each party. But the real
cost seems to be my sanity, or, perhaps, hers. She has been sending
increasingly shrill and crazy emails about how none of her eight
bridesmaids is enthusiastic enough, paying her enough attention,
volunteering to help, etc. Can I drop out of this wedding? And what is
the best way to do it?
Sincerely,
Social A's: I Am A Hermit And Is That Okay? @12:51 PM
I am kind of a hermit. I didn't use to be. Anyway, I don't have any friends where I was transferred to three years ago (which is a pretty urban, cosmopolitan place, as long as you stay well within the city limits), unless you consider the Internet a land mass, nor do I feel like meeting or dating anybody or even having much sex even though I am gay and have quite an active libido. I am quite old, but I am fine with that too, much finer than I was with being young, in fact. Nonetheless, I'm conflicted about the fact that I think I'm fine with not having any friends, a mate or even anonymous sex, because I think that's weird or maybe I think that other people think that's weird. Does the fact that I occasionally think I am weird about this actually mean I'm weird about this, or am I just giving into the societal pressure exerted on me by my non-existent peer group and I'm really fine with it? Did I just answer my own question? Maybe I think I'm weird because at heart I know I'm damaged goods, and I just don't feel like discussing that 2 to 3 times per week, via Manhunt or in the Local Volleyball League? But what's wrong with that?
Social A's: I Can't Invite My Friends Over, As I Have No Drugs @2:00 PM
Dear Answer Lady,
I have these friends who, whenever I go over to their house, we smoke a ton of marijuana. I would like to return their hospitality, but I've never invited them to hang out at my place because I'm worried it would be awkward due to a lack of drugs on my part. I guess I could buy some just for the occasion, but I don't even really know how to go about doing so (when I used to smoke every day, my boyfriend dealt with the dealer) and … I just don't want to! Can I ask my friends to bring their own drugs, which I will then smoke?
