The Awl

Gulf Sharks Learning To Walk On Land

Alex Balk — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 10:40:37 +0000

"A new study into the diets of Gulf tiger sharks found the scavengers are not only feeding on marine animals but also land-based birds, including woodpeckers, swallows, tanagers, meadowlarks and others. 'We were not expecting to see this. It certainly prompts a series of questions, the most obvious being "How does a land bird end up in the water as food for sharks?"' said lead researcher Marcus Drymon of the Dauphin Island Sea Lab in Alabama."
—And then the scary music started.

Image by Andrea Danti, via Shutterstock

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Intra-Shark Hybridization Probably Only The Beginning

Dave Bry — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 11:00:49 +0000

"It's very surprising because no one's ever seen shark hybrids before, this is not a common occurrence by any stretch of the imagination. This is evolution in action."
—It's happening! As University of Queensland shark researcher Jess Morgan explains to Discovery's Jennifer Viegas, sharks are apparently reacting to global warming by mating with other species. In this case, it is just the regional specific Australian black-tip shark and its intercontinental cousin, the common black-tip. But a super-powered hammerhead/tiger shark can't be too far behind. And after that, like Kool Keith said, who knows?

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It's Summer In Australia, And Glow-In-The-Dark Surfers Make The Living Easy For Great Whites

Dave Bry — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 14:50:49 +0000

These neon-clad night surfers celebrating the first day of the Australian summer at Bondi Beach must have looked like a big tray of glow-in-the-dark jello shots to sharks, who tend to feed at night. I'm glad no one got eaten.

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Shark-Ravaged Hottie Comes Out For "Save the Sharks" Campaign

Choire Sicha — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 16:50:08 +0000

Our favorite shark attack survivor, Paul De Gelder, a Sydney-based Navy diver (just now back to work, a year-and-a-half after his attack!), and nine other shark attack survivors are lobbying the UN for shark protection. Sharks! Why do we keep savagely and randomly attacking them on our beaches?

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Hero Surfer Saves Beached Great White Shark

Dave Bry — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 15:33:31 +0000

Beachgoer: "It's going to kill us. It's gonna kill you and then it's gonna kill me. He's gonna kill us."

Surfer: "Just be glad it's all right."

Beachgoer: "It's gonna jump."

Surfer: "Make up your mind. Is it going to jump, or is it gonna kill us?

Beachgoer: "First it's gonna jump. And then it's gonna kill us."

Surfer: "Will you just relax, mon? It's not gonna kill us. My father is a television repairman. He's got all kinds of tools. We can save this shark."

Beachgoer: "We can't save this shark, man."

Surfer: "We can save it."

(Unfortunately the shark died the next day.)

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Alligators Should Have Their Own Week On the Discovery Channel

Dave Bry — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 15:00:45 +0000

"On the rare chance you do find yourself or a loved one clenched in the teeth of a crocodilian, experts say fight with all your might. 'Smack them and punch them in the nose, eyes, and head, and fight them with everything you have,' said Todd Hardwick, owner of the Pesky Critters trapping program. 'Most of the time they'll let go and move off.' And remember, experts say, crocs and alligators are just trying to do their part for the ecosystem. 'Crocodilians are top-level predators. They keep other populations healthy by stopping them from overpopulating,' said Hord."
-Discovery reporter Julienne Gage reveals her preference for alligators and crocodiles over humans in an interesting article about how those animals present a greater danger to us than sharks. The article also raises the question of whether it would be better to be eaten by an alligator or crushed by a falling vending machine, which, THAT WOULDN'T EVEN BE A PROBLEM IF THEY'D MAKE IT SO THE FUNNY BONES WRAPPERS WOULDN'T CATCH ON THOSE STUPID COILS!!!

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Scary Science Gibberish: Sharks Making Monsters In Their Stomachs!

Choire Sicha — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 10:10:19 +0000

There's nothing quite so wonderful as an alarmist science scandal-you know, the kind of thing that sounds really really bad but you don't really know why? And we get a lot of that, because sometimes the wonderful people at National Geographic are basically the TMZ of science and animals. Because: Sharks Carrying Drug-Resistant "Bacterial Monsters! SHARKS! Monsters! The coming plague! Sharks carrying monsters in their little fins! Or, um, sharks are making a heady brew in their stomachs of drug-resistant thingies! "Though sharks aren't a staple in the human diet, we eat what they eat-crab, shrimp, and other fish. So people should be aware of these risks and handle food appropriately to avoid infection"! Oh my God, I'm so scared now! Of something, but I'm not sure what exactly! (via)

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Woman Hit By Flying Fish While Rowing Across The Atlantic Ocean

Dave Bry — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 14:00:31 +0000

"Was getting a bit carried away with watching my progress on the gps tonight and was rudely interrupted when a flying fish hit me, er, in the bum! It was not a small one either, and rather startling to be hit without warning in the dark of the night. Perhaps it was a sign to slow down, stop and smell the roses. Or fish, or whatever."

That's 22-year-old Katie Spotz, writing yesterday on the blog she's keeping while trying to become the youngest person in history to row alone across the Atlantic Ocean. Today is the 41st day of her trip.

Spotz, who is apparently physically fit, has previously bicycled 3,300 miles across the U.S. and was the first person to swim the full 352 miles of the Allegheny River through Pennsylvania and New York State. She has a super-tech high, 19-foot rowboat equipped with two solar panels that generate electricity for her VHF radio, GPS, navigation lights and a gizmo that sends Spotz's coordinates to nearby ships and alerts her if those ships get dangerously close. She brought an iPod (a favorite song is Men at Work's "Down Under") and a laptop computer to track weather and blog, and uses a satellite phone to update her Twitter account.

This kind of thing always strikes me as cheating, kind of. Or at least violating the spirit of a solo rowing trip across an ocean, which should be more like The Old Man And The Sea. Or this:

But she's doing it for a good cause: raising awareness of, and money for, the billion people around the world who don't have access to clean drinking water. So more power to her.

And Spotz-who left off from Dakar, Senegal in December, and is aiming to complete the 2,500 mile trip to Cayenne, French Guiana late next month-has had some adventures. On January 31st, she was about to swim under her boat to check the hull for barnacles or slime build up. But then, as she writes,

I grabbed my snorkel, mask, and scrubber and took a quick look into the water. I started to dangle my toes in the water but something did not feel quite right. Another glimpse and ... there it was. It was deep in the water but looked too big to be a fish yet too small to be a shark. Either way, it certainly did not look friendly with green spikes. So, I crawled my way back into the boat and decided to keep my mantra: "just keep rowing."

(It turned out to be a tuna.)

Spotz desalinates ocean water to drink and eats 5000 calories a day from her food supply, which consists of:

300 Clif bars (lots of different flavors)
210 dehydrated lunches/dinners
98 dehydrated breakfast meals
90 Snickers bars
80 Bumble bars
70 trail mix bags (small)
50 Twix, Butterfinger, and Hersheys bars
42 dehydrated desserts (cheesecake or chocolate pudding)
40 salmon or tuna packs
18 bags dried mango (plain and spicy)
12 bags of beef or turkey jerky
7 bags of dried plantains
8 bags almonds
12 bags cashews
5 bags dried cherries
6 bags wasabi peas
8 hard bread packs with almond butter
12 bags of crackers
10 bags dried pears
10 bags of mission fig and calamyrna figs
8 bags of dried peas
7 boxes of biscotti
30 sunflower packs (small)
200 GU Energy gels
100 GU Blocks
7 bags dried blueberries
40 gummies bags
50 fruit leathers
6 bags of flattened banana
4 bags of mangosteen
12 packs of chocolate covered ginger
4 bags of tangy almonds
3 bags of whey protein
2 packs of Fig Newtons
6 bags of sesame crepes
2 chocolate cookies bags
Nuun electrolyte replacement tablets
1 sprouting kit with lots of seeds!

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Surfers Too Awesome To Be Scared of "Dinosaur-Sized" Shark

Dave Bry — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 14:40:18 +0000

Beaches have been closed in South Africa after a 37-year-old Zimbabwean man was apparently eaten by what has been described as "dinosaur-sized shark" off Fish Hoek beach in Cape Town. "We saw the shark come back twice," British beach-goer Phyllis McCartain told the Cape Times. "It had the man's body in its mouth, and his arm was in the air. Then the sea was full of blood." Another witness, Dennis Lundon, said, "I never want to experience this again. I'm going to block it out of my mind."

People are freaking out. This is the second fatal shark attack in South Africa in a less than a month; a lifeguard was killed off St. John's Second Beach in December. But surfers need those beaches open, so they can surf, so people can film them and make awesome videos for great new rock songs. Hoping to stem the public panic, South African surfing site Wavescape quotes Save Our Seas Foundation scientist Alison Kock about yesterday's incident. "Why the shark apparently consumed the person we cannot say for sure," says Kock. "All we do know is that it does not happen regularly. There were numerous shark sightings over the holiday season in False Bay with 1000s of swimmers, surfers, divers in the water. If sharks saw people as food there would be many more attacks and that simply is not the case."

So we're more like amuse-bouches then. Good to know.

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Again With The Sharks

Alex Balk — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 10:00:10 +0000

Blah blah blah sharks swim closer to the coast than we thought, etc. Here's my deal: It is 2009. Why is Jaws still our go-to pop culture reference for anything Selachimorphic? Shouldn't we have something better by now? Possibly with CGI? And Viggo Mortensen? VERY DISAPPOINTED.

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