Posts Tagged: Sharks
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Two-Headed Shark Fetus Killed By Shark Abortionist

This delightful creature was inside the mommy shark when a shark fisherman killed them both. Or all three of them.

Experts who examined the two-headed shark say it's the first ever bull shark to be found with two heads—somebody put the dead fetus in the MRI machine because why not, and found that it wasn't "conjoined twins" but an actual two-headed shark and the first two-headed bull shark ever to be put inside the MRI machine.

Researchers also claim the baby monster would not live long in the wild, but this sounds like eugenics. Wouldn't the baby two-headed shark have twice the chance at survival?

Anyway, shark abortion [...]

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Rammellzee On Jean-Michel Basquiat, And Fixing Flanges On Oil Tankers With Underwater Welding Torches, And Sharks And Like, The Universe

"Jean-Michel only wanted drugs, sex, and rock n’ roll. He didn’t have no science. He didn’t know what to talk to no critics and if he wanted to talk he didn’t have enough to say. When I talk everybody tells me to be quiet. [laughs] Do you know why? Because I have information that comes to you either from [science], or it’s from something that comes from other people – from my peer group. Whether it came down to rap music, hip-hop music – which is slightly different, or whether it comes to break dancing. After the fight and everything like that then everybody tried to say I was [...]

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It's Summer In Australia, And Glow-In-The-Dark Surfers Make The Living Easy For Great Whites

These neon-clad night surfers celebrating the first day of the Australian summer at Bondi Beach must have looked like a big tray of glow-in-the-dark jello shots to sharks, who tend to feed at night. I'm glad no one got eaten.

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Alligators Should Have Their Own Week On the Discovery Channel

"On the rare chance you do find yourself or a loved one clenched in the teeth of a crocodilian, experts say fight with all your might. 'Smack them and punch them in the nose, eyes, and head, and fight them with everything you have,' said Todd Hardwick, owner of the Pesky Critters trapping program. 'Most of the time they'll let go and move off.' And remember, experts say, crocs and alligators are just trying to do their part for the ecosystem. 'Crocodilians are top-level predators. They keep other populations healthy by stopping them from overpopulating,' said Hord." -Discovery reporter Julienne Gage reveals her preference for alligators and crocodiles [...]

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Surfers Too Awesome To Be Scared of "Dinosaur-Sized" Shark

Beaches have been closed in South Africa after a 37-year-old Zimbabwean man was apparently eaten by what has been described as "dinosaur-sized shark" off Fish Hoek beach in Cape Town. "We saw the shark come back twice," British beach-goer Phyllis McCartain told the Cape Times. "It had the man's body in its mouth, and his arm was in the air. Then the sea was full of blood." Another witness, Dennis Lundon, said, "I never want to experience this again. I'm going to block it out of my mind."

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Sharks!

You know how it is: Some days things get away from you, you forget you have a website, you don't post for hours on end, etc. It's LATE August, I'm not gonna beat myself up about it. I do feel a little guilty, though, so let me share with you, as others have already shared, the wonder that is Penis Shark. [WARNING: Contains penis shark.]

Related: The Majesty of Jaws

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Great White Shark Is California's Newest Cuddly Endangered Species

The great white shark is a majestic and terrifying animal, as you may have seen in videos, but it has also been mercilessly hunted by heartless creeps who hate nature. The great white is more than a sea monster, of course: It is a crucial part of the ocean environment, acting as the grim reaper for sad and sickly sea critters who would otherwise require entitlements to live out their old age.

As of February, the majestic killing machine of the deep is protected by California's Endangered Species Act. Sports fishing of the sharks has been illegal since 1994, but a lot of juvenile great whites get caught [...]

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Gulf Sharks Learning To Walk On Land

"A new study into the diets of Gulf tiger sharks found the scavengers are not only feeding on marine animals but also land-based birds, including woodpeckers, swallows, tanagers, meadowlarks and others. 'We were not expecting to see this. It certainly prompts a series of questions, the most obvious being "How does a land bird end up in the water as food for sharks?"' said lead researcher Marcus Drymon of the Dauphin Island Sea Lab in Alabama." And then the scary music started.

Image by Andrea Danti, via Shutterstock

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Shark-Ravaged Hottie Comes Out For "Save the Sharks" Campaign

Our favorite shark attack survivor, Paul De Gelder, a Sydney-based Navy diver (just now back to work, a year-and-a-half after his attack!), and nine other shark attack survivors are lobbying the UN for shark protection. Sharks! Why do we keep savagely and randomly attacking them on our beaches?

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Scary Science Gibberish: Sharks Making Monsters In Their Stomachs!

There's nothing quite so wonderful as an alarmist science scandal-you know, the kind of thing that sounds really really bad but you don't really know why? And we get a lot of that, because sometimes the wonderful people at National Geographic are basically the TMZ of science and animals. Because: Sharks Carrying Drug-Resistant "Bacterial Monsters! SHARKS! Monsters! The coming plague! Sharks carrying monsters in their little fins! Or, um, sharks are making a heady brew in their stomachs of drug-resistant thingies! "Though sharks aren't a staple in the human diet, we eat what they eat-crab, shrimp, and other fish. So people should be aware of these risks and handle [...]

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Again With The Sharks

Blah blah blah sharks swim closer to the coast than we thought, etc. Here's my deal: It is 2009. Why is Jaws still our go-to pop culture reference for anything Selachimorphic? Shouldn't we have something better by now? Possibly with CGI? And Viggo Mortensen? VERY DISAPPOINTED.

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Sharks Are The Jeffrey Dahmers Of The Ocean

Sharks: they're just like us, if we're killers: "Great white sharks and serial killers such as the Yorkshire Ripper stalk their victims in a similar way, scientists have found. Using methods pioneered by criminologists, researchers have discovered that the world's largest predatory fish targets prey in a highly focused way linked to the areas it knows best. The scientists adapted geographic profiling, a mathematical technique used to track down serial killers and rapists, to investigate the hunting habits of great whites." OMG, I can't wait for PETA's campaign urging people to refer to sharks as "sea rapists"!

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Shark Eats Fish

People scream. [Via]

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Intra-Shark Hybridization Probably Only The Beginning

"It's very surprising because no one's ever seen shark hybrids before, this is not a common occurrence by any stretch of the imagination. This is evolution in action." —It's happening! As University of Queensland shark researcher Jess Morgan explains to Discovery's Jennifer Viegas, sharks are apparently reacting to global warming by mating with other species. In this case, it is just the regional specific Australian black-tip shark and its intercontinental cousin, the common black-tip. But a super-powered hammerhead/tiger shark can't be too far behind. And after that, like Kool Keith said, who knows?

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Hero Surfer Saves Beached Great White Shark

Beachgoer: "It's going to kill us. It's gonna kill you and then it's gonna kill me. He's gonna kill us."

Surfer: "Just be glad it's all right."

Beachgoer: "It's gonna jump."

Surfer: "Make up your mind. Is it going to jump, or is it gonna kill us?

Beachgoer: "First it's gonna jump. And then it's gonna kill us."

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Woman Hit By Flying Fish While Rowing Across The Atlantic Ocean

"Was getting a bit carried away with watching my progress on the gps tonight and was rudely interrupted when a flying fish hit me, er, in the bum! It was not a small one either, and rather startling to be hit without warning in the dark of the night. Perhaps it was a sign to slow down, stop and smell the roses. Or fish, or whatever."

That's 22-year-old Katie Spotz, writing yesterday on the blog she's keeping while trying to become the youngest person in history to row alone across the Atlantic Ocean. Today is the 41st day of her trip.

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Monster Shark Terrorizes Australia

What's going on off the coast of Prison Island? Oh, just a case of MONSTER SHARK SYNDROME! "The nine-foot white pointer shark emerged from the waters off the Queensland coast with an eye-popping wound: two gigantic bite marks that nearly split it in two. What could possibly be large enough to have a jaw that big? Experts say it's likely a monster shark measuring at least 15 feet in length." Look at this non-monster shark (although, sure, nine feet is nothing to sneeze at) and feel the terror. Also the amazingness. I mean, it's pretty goddamn cool. I just hope the monster shark doesn't do blackface.