Surfers Too Awesome To Be Scared of "Dinosaur-Sized" Shark @2:40 PM
Beaches have been closed in South Africa after a 37-year-old Zimbabwean man was apparently eaten by what has been described as "dinosaur-sized shark" off Fish Hoek beach in Cape Town. "We saw the shark come back twice," British beach-goer Phyllis McCartain told the Cape Times. "It had the man's body in its mouth, and his arm was in the air. Then the sea was full of blood." Another witness, Dennis Lundon, said, "I never want to experience this again. I'm going to block it out of my mind." READ MORE 20
Again With The Sharks @10:00 AM
Blah blah blah sharks swim closer to the coast than we thought, etc. Here's my deal: It is 2009. Why is Jaws still our go-to pop culture reference for anything Selachimorphic? Shouldn't we have something better by now? Possibly with CGI? And Viggo Mortensen? VERY DISAPPOINTED. 12
Monster Shark Terrorizes Australia @10:13 AM
What's going on off the coast of Prison Island? Oh, just a case of MONSTER SHARK SYNDROME! "The nine-foot white pointer shark emerged from the waters off the Queensland coast with an eye-popping wound: two gigantic bite marks that nearly split it in two. What could possibly be large enough to have a jaw that big? Experts say it's likely a monster shark measuring at least 15 feet in length." Look at this non-monster shark (although, sure, nine feet is nothing to sneeze at) and feel the terror. Also the amazingness. I mean, it's pretty goddamn cool. I just hope the monster shark doesn't do blackface. 13
Sharks! @2:51 PM
You know how it is: Some days things get away from you, you forget you have a website, you don't post for hours on end, etc. It's LATE August, I'm not gonna beat myself up about it. I do feel a little guilty, though, so let me share with you, as others have already shared, the wonder that is Penis Shark. [WARNING: Contains penis shark.]
Related: The Majesty of Jaws 9
Sharks Are The Jeffrey Dahmers Of The Ocean @9:59 AM
Sharks: they're just like us, if we're killers: "Great white sharks and serial killers such as the Yorkshire Ripper stalk their victims in a similar way, scientists have found. Using methods pioneered by criminologists, researchers have discovered that the world's largest predatory fish targets prey in a highly focused way linked to the areas it knows best. The scientists adapted geographic profiling, a mathematical technique used to track down serial killers and rapists, to investigate the hunting habits of great whites." OMG, I can't wait for PETA's campaign urging people to refer to sharks as "sea rapists"! 10
