Posts Tagged: Shaquille O’Neal

Buttock Flavor Enquiry Preserved For Posterity In Pages Of August Journal

"'He said Shaq gave a bitch a mil—I don't do that 'cause my name's Shaquille. I love 'em but don't leave 'em. I got a vasectomy, now I can't breed 'em. Kobe, how my ass taste?' The crowd at the club joined a smiling O'Neal in repeating the zinger several times in unison while he bent over and flaunted his Barkleyesque rump." [Related]


Retiree Ages

I don't want to alarm anyone here, but I've just learned that Shaquille O'Neal turns 40 today. Which suggests, by the logic of contemporaneity, that those of us who recall his playing days—not even the 19 years in the league, but his time as a student at LSU—are probably not too far away from 40 ourselves, if we have not already reached it. That's one hell of a shock on a Tuesday morning. I would tell you to sit down, but judging by your advancing years you are probably seated already. Sorry.