And now let us bring Sex Offender Week to a close. Did you enjoy talking about manhood and TV and the music and the bros? Well, don't run off yet, here is one parting thought on the matter of contemporary gender relations!

"The last few decades have left us so profoundly disoriented about the most urgent personal matters–gender roles, sexual norms, the possibility of creating lasting romantic relationships, not to mention absolutely everything to do with family structure–that it's no surprise to find people embracing a theory that promises to restore order." -William Deresiewicz, "Adaptation: On Literary Darwinism," The Nation, May [...]

Before we begin, let us be clear: We speak not of the Rivers Cuomo that was, nor of the Rivers Cuomo that is, nor yet of the Rivers that shall be. We speak, now, of the Platonic ideal of a Rivers Cuomo: The Rivers Cuomo you have never met, nor ever can meet, nor can ever be sued by (subsequent to writing a blog post that uses his name quite a lot), but who lives, nevertheless, within your brain. Specifically, if you happen to have grown up in the 1990s, and are heterosexual, and also a girl.

Because you totally have one. I mean, come on.

And why not, while we await the return of Mad Men this hot summer (and its accompanying cultural romp), return to the vexing problem of manliness that is Don Draper? Right here on Sex Offender Week!

We all want to like Don Draper for reasons other than his glamour. We want to find reasons to like him other than that he's pretty and suave and charismatic-we want to make him, more or less, the Ideal Man, the "why aren't more people like this?" guy. We talk about him as a kind of zenith of masculinity, something everyone agrees men should be striving for. This seems weird to me. [...]

This week, we'll be running an essay a day about the state of being men and women. Welcome to Sex Offender Week-it's just like Shark Week, but without sharks and with angry blog comments!

Hey man. Got a question for you. Have you ever, as a red-blooded hetero dude, had sex before? Yeah? Pretty boss, right?! Well, you should hug a feminist! If you happen to be dating one, this should be pretty easy. (Unless you've been a dumbass to her recently; and hey, we've all been there.)   Now, if you're thinking, feminist? Hey fuck that noise, I ain't huggin' any hairy-legged broad for nothing, my main [...]