Helpful hint: Don't file-share child pornography on your laptop, law firm partners. Probably don't do it on any other computer/in any other profession either?

Obviously I was taken to see Eclipse because my friend knows me well enough to know that, not only have I read the series, and seen the other movies, but I also have thoughts about both. Mostly these thoughts are about Mormon sexuality and anti-abortion propaganda, but also about how I give Robert Pattinson credit for wanting to be a good actor, and how I have nothing but empathy for how bonkers his life must be. Anyway, that's not what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is wigs.