These days, professional content curators have to go through a lot of crap to find that one thing that can be successfully blockquoted or very slightly rewritten to maximize SEO revenue streams—yet a cursory glance at the nation's best performing aggregators finds an unsatisfactory maximazation of cross-platform responsive environments.

Brand management and audience engagement depend upon early conversions with the youngest consumers. Is your company losing eyeballs to competitors with better internals targeted to the post-diaper pre-toilet demo? Supercharge your mobile audience social sticky by adaptive dynamic layouts to lasso the tablet-potty market before you are literally destroyed and physically torn apart, limb by limb, by your eternal rivals. The [...]

Here is an analysis of how the Daily Mail solves the problem of "how to optimise for the high-volume search term 'Pippa Middleton’s arse'." And here you will find an argument that newspapers write about Pippa Middleton's arse (or, as we have it here, "Pippa Middleton's ass" or "Pippa Middleton's rear end" or "Pippa Middleton amazing ass" or "great ass Pippa Middleton" or "Pippa Middleton rump ass bottom backside" or "woman from Royal Wedding ass" —Enough already, we get the joke. –Ed.) because that's what people want to read about: They want to read about Pippa Middleton's fantastic ass. Also they want to see pictures or photos. [...]

The World Cup is a economic boon for many interests. During the 2006 Cup, Adidas saw its sales increase a whopping 30%. Twitter is also reaping the World Cup whirlwind. And for online publications big and small, the World Cup means posting sexy WAG hottie fan babes GALLERY SLIDESHOWS.

It's becoming ever-harder to find actual real things on the Internet. How can you learn by way of search about, say, canine diabetes, when you can't predict or tell which result is a spam farm and which is a labor of love? Here's a pretty impressive look at how PR Web is undermining search results and gaming Google News and propagating what is essentially spam throughout the Internet. (In this instance, a company used PR Web for pretty obvious market manipulation—and it didn't even work. LOL.) Two things are gross about that: First, it doesn't even help PR Web's clients get Google-rated inbound links. It's not actually [...]

Google doesn't laugh It doesn't even titter It can't guffaw like Facebook It won't split its sides like Twitter

Google doesn't crack a smile It won't respond to mirth There's not a single laughing part Not even Google Earth

This isn't actually Friday web-trolling: this is an important commentary on the age of information-ordering by algorithm: "You could call the telephone the progenitor of the modern age, the technology that made the concept of sharing information instantaneously across vast distances possible. Before the telephone, that was called magic. And now, it's the bronze medalist to fictionalized account of a women's prison." Yes, Lady Gaga's "Telephone" video out-ranks results for the actual, you know, telephone. Those were simpler times! I refer of course to March, 2010, when the Lady released "Telephone." Also the present/future is a little scary when you stare at it too long.

There's an [...]

"S.E.O. is a way for your website to manipulate and seduce search engines into wanting them, kind of like the tricks in Neil Strauss' The Game, but with Google replacing party girls." -Understanding the Internet.