"Jedi knights could soon be performing special intergalactic weddings in Scotland, Presbyterians have predicted."

Alcohol: It's good for the environment! "Construction gets under way on a £60.5m biomass power plant which is set to use whisky by-products to drastically reduce Scotland's carbon emissions. The combined heat and power plant in Rothes in Speyside will use distillery by-products to generate enough electricity to power 9,000 homes and produce animal feed."

"If the Scottish parliament votes to have an independence referendum, that's a vote that we would have to respect and we would have to allow that and enable that to happen." —British Prime Minister David Cameron, June, 2011.

Scotland may leave the United Kingdom. This stark truth has escaped the notice not just of the international community, but of most British people too. They don’t really yet believe that our country could once again be split just north of the wonderfully named border town of Berwick-upon-Tweed.

Life north of that border has always been different, with a separate legal system, currency, and, of course, wedding outfits, [...]

Not content with their own disgusting contributions to culinary history, the English are now claiming that haggis-that vile, football-shaped concoction of minced ungulate innards boiled in their own stomach-was appropriated by the Scots under false pretenses. Historians note that whether or not the Scottish people actually purloined the dish, they are still morally superior to the Welsh, who came to my house and stole a leg of beef.

Well, well, well. Isn't this a pretty turn of possible (though not terribly probable) events for Hurricane Katia.