Um, that's weird! The Feds gave Ruth Madoff her passport back, "which apparently indicates that Lady MacMadoff will definitely not be charged with any role in the scam." Maybe she is innocent! Or promised immunity! Or maybe the world has gone mad.

Ruth Madoff, wife of that guy who stole everyone's money (everyone who was rich, that is), has issued an apology: "From the moment I learned from my husband that he had committed an enormous fraud, I have had two thoughts," says the statement. I am thinking those two thoughts are: 1. SOME JELL-O WOULD BE GOOD RIGHT ABOUT NOW. And then 2. WHERE AM I GOING TO HIDE ALL MY MONEY?