Unemployment is up in the official numbers for May in 48 states! And the winners in top unemployment are: · Michigan: 14.1%. · Oregon: 12.4%. · Rhode Island and South Carolina: 12.1%. · California: 11.5% Thirteen states are in the double digits; New York City is now at 9%-just below the national rate of 9.4%. Congratulations! Also: "The labor market remains weak but it's starting to stabilize," Maxwell Clarke, the chief U.S. economist at IDEAglobal in New York, told Bloomberg News. This is a fucking lie.

It's tough all over, and even the hooter-shaking industry is not immune: America's strip clubs are seeing slower sales as customers focus more on the actual boobs in front of them rather than the high-end food and drink that once helped inflate profits. "In order to adapt," reports the Wall Street Journal, "many so-called gentlemen's clubs are shedding their upscale trappings and catering to a thriftier clientele by offering less expensive drinks, waiving cover charges and refocusing their marketing."