Posts Tagged: Rants
27

Death To Zombies

Our paranormal epics, action flicks, and monster movies are stuffed with metaphor. The billion-dollar success of Christopher Nolan’s bleak Dark Knight alerted studio executives back in 2008: metaphorical thinking was in. Summer blockbusters could grapple with bigger themes and darker allegories without turning off their sebum-soaked ticketholders. This gimmick has seeped across all the blockbuster industries: graphic novels, television, young adult books. You’re surely familiar with the biggies by now: The mutant struggle for assimilation is about gay civil rights. Vampires represent our anxiety about dying alone or, worse, never dying alone. Zombies, their uprising, and our anticipated armed struggle against the undead horde is metaphor for plague—specifically, AIDS.

Zombie [...]

0

Opinions That Don't Make Any Sense

Oooh, so the head of the Consumer Electronics Association has revealed himself to be a very confused man. Because of the TARP that is hanging over us, and because the President is drowning us in debt (um, unlike the Bush administration!), he claims: "The next generation won't have a Bill Gates, a Steve Jobs or a Mark Zuckerberg because the budding American entrepreneur won't be able to secure the financing to create the next dynamic technology company that would have energized the economy." Oh no, a generation without a Mark Zuckerberg! In the end, very little of this makes any sense.

51

Woah! It's Lame Twitter

Remember that time Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize? #NotTheOnion

— Jon Henke (@JonHenke) June 10, 2013

"This Is Not The Onion” is a seemingly innocuous phrase that strikes such loathing into my heart that after I read it I want to punch a wall until I feel okay again. Even if you stop reading after this paragraph, please internalize at least this much: Stop. Comparing. Everything. To the fucking Onion.

As long as you’re a sentient being and you’ve been on the Internet in the last year, you probably don’t need to be clued in to what I’m over-complaining about. But just in case, here [...]

73

Literally The Worst Word On The Planet

I have always thought of the word 'literally' as someone else's problem. Then, suddenly, it arrived: My summer of Literally. A recent family vacation revealed my brother as one of the worst offenders. He likes to couple ‘literally’ with the phrase… 'on the planet,' as in, “You are literally the best sister on the planet.” (Or rather, you were.) Other literally fans (is it the heat?): my lesbian best friend, my rich best friend, my yoga best friend—she’s the one it seems rudest to complain about since last weekend we went to Wanderlust together, and I spent half the time in a sobbing rage and the other half crawling around [...]