In today's episode, the intrepid Emily Gould meets Marcy Dermansky, the author of Bad Marie, which is about a woman who gets out of prison who is not so good at child care! So of course, here in our glamorous test kitchen, they make mac and cheese and instant pudding. Cooking the Books is directed by Valerie Temple and shot and edited by Andrew Gauthier. You can see all the Cooking the Books episodes here or even subscribe via iTunes. Previously: Tao Lin makes raw salad; Jennifer Egan makes macaroons. Plus! Veggie Burgers Every Which Way.

This, people, is ENGLAND. Some British chick with the awesomely cattywampus name of Kelly Askew got pinched by Mancunian cops for trying to smuggle over £627,000 worth of cocaine in a green plastic bag in the passenger side of her Mercedes. While she is pleading ignorance and throwing her shotty-sitting boyfriend under the bus claiming that the drugs were his, she is obviously a criminal mastermind with the face of an angel if that angel was just OK in the face. Not only was she holding a GRIP of blow, she was canny enough to stay being on welfare despite collecting checks for "on rare occasions" doing "a bit of modeling." Whatevs, you know she's suspect since she was clipped leaving that place where only rainmakers go-the most dazzlingly lucrative and exciting commercial hub in the history of history a.k.a. the cocaine capital of the world a.k.a. Yorkshire.