Hey, it's April 20th, or "4/20." So you know what that means. That's right, Hitler's birthday and the anniversary of the Deepwater Horizon spill and the Columbine massacre and the first pitch thrown at Fenway Park in Boston and also at Wrigley Field in Chicago and the sadly shuttered Tiger's Stadium in Detroit. And also of Billie Holiday recording "Strange Fruit." And the Bay of Pigs fiasco and of Russia's mistaken downing of Korean Air Lines Flight 902. And lots of other crazy stuff, most of which is entirely coincidental. Also, of course, it's Pot Day. So I'm sure all you potheads are so stoned right now that [...]

Dear woman who lived up on the hill near the lighthouse,

Sorry for stealing the head of that Greek statue from your lawn.

From Rap Radar, here's a video message Jim Jones had Snoop Dogg make for his mom-who, like most moms, is clearly a big fan. Soon after sending it, Jim Jones got totally busted by his mom for smoking pot.

Kids today. I remember when people thought it was crazy when Kriss Kross wore their jeans backwards. Currently there seems to be a new trend sweeping the hip-hop nation. As evidenced in a number of recent popular rap music videos, the new thing seems to be smoking two blunts at the same time. Or two joints. Two marijuana cigarettes. This would not be so remarkable [Ed.: it is actually not that remarkable], were it not for the fact that it flies in face of age-old conventional wisdom about pot smoking.

Dear Emily,

I'm sorry for wearing sweat pants to our first dinner date and for getting stoned before meeting your parents for the first time.

Dear person who lived next to Kris Friendly in Harkness at Connecticut College during the fall semester of 1989,

I'm sorry for calling you at 2:30 in the morning on a Tuesday and asking you to knock on Kris's door and tell him he had an important call.

An artist out of Brooklyn by the name of Mr. Muthafuckin' eXquire has his borough in his blood—a little of Biggie's deep-lunged authority comes through in his style, and a little of Ol' Dirty Bastard's unhinged perviness, too—and he has an underground hit on his hands with a song called "Huzzah," which was produced by the death-obsessed hardcore veteran Necro. For the remix, he gathered an impressive collection of avant garde MCs—Queens' Despot, Detroit's Danny Brown, hometown faves Das Racist, and the venerable Def Jux Records founder El-P (who wears a large mustache and reminds us again how terrific and ahead-of-its-time his old group Company Flow [...]

Dear riders of the Powell-Mason cable car line in San Francisco, late summer 1991,

Sorry for flashing you.