Posts Tagged: Pooping

The Toilet Man

The toilet man was obsessed with numbers. Like the number of days he had left to live. Ten-thousand five-hundred was about how many days he said he had left, if he lived to be eighty. Thirteen years ago, the Toilet Man said, he turned forty and asked himself, how long is one lifetime? Then he checked the national statistic: eighty. So, forty more years; fourteen thousand, six-hundred days more days, give or take. "And then you die," said the Toilet Man. He lingered over the last world, stretched it. "Dyyyyyyyeee," it sounded like.

Back then, before he was the Toilet Man, he was Jack Sim, a rich Singaporean, running 16 [...]


Some Day The Op-Ed Page Will Be Edited

Tom Scocca: I go away for a weekend and Maureen Dowd gets caught plagiarizing? Choire Sicha: You went away for a weekend? That's so unlike you! Tom Scocca: We can't all have a house on Fire Island. Choire Sicha: That island is only so wide, after all. But yes! You turned your back and suddenly Maureen Dowd is in the Scandal Of The Century Of The Moment. Tom Scocca: Albeit sort of a listless scandal, it seems, thanks to the we're-all-dead-who-cares cloud hanging over Romenesko these past many months.