Is this the world's most expensive pie? Sure, why the hell not.

I used to be really afraid of making pies. Like phobia-level afraid of it. (And tape worms. But the pie thing too.) Pie is something that is hard to get to come correct and everyone has different expectations and on top of that it’s not exactly the fastest thing to make, and that alone is pretty fucking horrifying. What if it comes out wet? What if the crust is tough? What if you forget to cut slits in it and turns into an apple and cinnamon sugar bomb and your grandmother cuts into it on Thanksgiving Day and her face is scoured off by a wall of searing hot [...]

Another country heard from! From the inbox: "I cannot endorse your reckless pie crust methods. Granted, pie crust is stupid easy, but it should be made in a cuisinart. As much salt as sugar? A TBSP of salt? A CUP of water? Mixing with warm hands? Freezing the dough? NO!!!!! This is irresponsible journalism! How many Thanksgivings have to be ruined before you will stop?"