"Police forced their way into an apartment in Germany after hearing what they described as a "child-like voice" calling for its mother and father. Instead of an abandoned toddler, they found a cheerful and very talkative parrot."
"This poor parrot is 'Breaking Bald' after living in a meth house and losing all its feathers."
"Basil the African Grey launched his first verbal volley within hours of being given a new home with the Fisk family. He announced himself with a polite 'hello' to mum Sarah Fisk but when she replied he promptly told her to '—- off' with an accent straight from his previous home in Wales. The bird then started squawking 'I'm in the Valleys' followed by a tirade of expletives."
If you're worried that you haven't been horrified or upset enough today, click here: "The parrot was mimicking, 'Help me. Help me.' Then he would laugh," Bonnette said. "We think he was mimicking the mother when he said, 'Help me. Help me,' and mimicking the daughter when he laughed."