This write-up on Page Six's new honcho delivers an old-fashioned thrill: does New York City again have a chief gossip hustler that can inspire fear? It's been a while! So look out for tiny blonde women with English accents. (Not that you weren't already afraid of such.) Ms. Emily Smith is a five-footer, surely appealing to men, who are always stupid about talking to women in the first place, and is also apparently incredibly lethal. She actually might make Page Six fearsome again.

Long-time Page Six editor Richard Johnson says in a new interview that he is sad that you youngs hate newspapers: "The younger people just never developed the habit. They have other habits: using computers and using cell phones. A lot of people grow up now never touching a newspaper. They're read the content, but they're getting it from these parasitical news aggregation sites." Of course we know that this is just another attack on Michael Wolff's website Newser!* *Idea only valid inside Michael Wolff's crazy brain.