Posts Tagged: Old Men
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Sexy Petraeus Scandal Vaguely Reminds America of 11-Year-War In Afghanistan

David Petraeus is snide gnome with a toupée hairstyle, and he is not even very good at winning wars—his military career can be accurately described as a draw in Iraq and total defeat in Afghanistan. As his personal scandal of marital infidelity involves ever more civilian women, shirtless FBI agents sexting those women, fellow commanders in Afghanistan, and the entire state of Florida, perhaps we will take a pause in our race for additional sleazy details to ask additional, important questions that are also about as sexy as a 60-year-old man with his pants off.

98

Old Men Using Bikes To Snag Young Chicks

"With a bike, it's all about fitness, strength and stamina. But in some ways a top of the range bicycle says many of the same things about you as a sports car – they both have a rugged, dangerous element to them." -Psychologist Cliff Arnall explains the logic behind the idea that bicycles are the new Ferraris when it comes to signaling midlife crises in middle-aged men. I am not exactly sure why riding around on something that squashes your nuts flat like a penny on a railroad track will somehow increase your attractiveness to the opposite sex, but then again I hate bicycles and the people who ride [...]