Posts tagged as No Thanks
Two More Good Reasons To Not Move To LA
How could this go wrong? Los Angeles is installing new solar-powered parking meters! They are so reliable apparently that the city is rescinding its policy of not ticketing cars at broken meters. Got it? They never break, so when they do actually break, you'll now get a ticket for parking in that space. Also they have outlawed smoking in Santa Monica on residential balconies as of today. Everyone back in the car, smoking with the windows rolled up. To your health!
Childlessness Is Awesome And I Love It
Today's blockbuster on Why Parents Hate Parenting really tries to wrap up on a sunny note. After a huge stretch explaining how children became parents' bosses instead of household servants, and how everyone with a child is pretty much miserable and has no life, the article tries to put on the big spin that people are happier if they've has a "purposeful" life: "About twenty years ago, Tom Gilovich, a psychologist at Cornell, made a striking contribution to the field of psychology, showing that people are far more apt to regret things they haven't done than things they have. In one instance, he followed up on the men and women from the Terman study, the famous collection of high-IQ students from California who were singled out in 1921 for a life of greatness. Not one told him of regretting having children, but ten told him they regretted not having a family." Yeah, nice try. We childless have great purpose. We're doing stuff night and day! We're making partner at the firm and starting businesses and writing books and then, outside of our "day jobs," we're doing charitable and pro bono work, and also pursuing our tertiary interests (because we need an additional layer of hobbies when we're tired of our regular hobbies!) and traveling and learning and reading and then, late at night in bed, we have long, luxurious talks about our ideas and feelings and goals! None of these conversations involve brands of diapers! It's GREAT!
Internet Totally Affirming Our Lack of 'Karate Kid' Viewing
"When the Karate Kid and his Mom arrive at the airport, their lady driver is holding a sign for 'Mrs. Packer.' Mom corrects the lady driver, telling her the name's 'Parker.' Ah, Engrish!" READ MORE
Trump SoHo: What Up, Closets?
We have not been paying attention to the Trump SoHo hotel-condominium (WHICH IS BUILT ON A GRAVEYARD), unlike some people who are crazed about it, but I finally looked at the floorplans, because it opens in February? They're terrible! First of all, the non-penthouse condos top out at like 700 square feet, and most are like 450 square feet? But really: if you're going to buy a condo-ized hotel room (which you can only occupy for 120 days a year, max, and, um, no thanks), wouldn't you want an extra closet instead of 1.5 baths? One of the units has a "secure owner's closet," but the rest, not much. Thing is, you know, you'd want to keep some of your New York clothes at your own hotel room, obviously, when you wanted to swoop in high and hot from Bahrain or Burma! Good grief.
Writing Sucks, If You're Saïd Sayrafiezadeh
And how do you write, Saïd Sayrafiezadeh? "I straighten up the apartment while listening to Howard Stern. I need to feel as if everything is clean and in its proper place before I can even attempt to write one word. At least, that's what I tell myself. I make the bed, I put away the dishes, maybe I dust, maybe I do the laundry, maybe I go to the post office. I take pride in taking care of all the housework so that my wife, who works as a designer for Martha Stewart, won't need to sacrifice any of her leisure time when she gets home. Once I've completed every possible chore I brush and floss my teeth while watching an episode of 'Cops.' (My dentist has of late commented on how healthy my gums are.) Then I realize that it's 10:30 or 11 or 11:30 and I begin to panic. I sit down at the dining room table with my laptop determined to write, determined to resist watching a second episode of 'Cops,' or listening to more of Howard Stern, or looking at Facebook, or surfing the Internet for porn." My God, I would rather be a barista or a car assembly line worker or a homeless person than have his sort of writing craziness.
That "Kids In Williamsburg" NYT Piece
I mean, come on, it has "trustafarians" as the URL. Pass.
