Posts tagged as Nightmares
All Your Radiohead Tickets Are Belong to Machines!!11!
Anonymous should really make Ticketmaster their next target. #radiohead
Michael Neff
heyneff
Everyone in the Radiohead demographic hates Ticketmaster so much right now. MACHINES SAY: SCALPING IS GOOD BUSINESS.
The whole process of buying concert tickets online really sucks.
Jeremy Zilar
jeremyzilar
Very irritated I didn't get Radiohead itckets. BIRTHDAY RUINED!!
Jason Kottke
jkottke
If anyone actually got Radiohead tickets and for some reason has an extra, I would do very degrading things for it.
Adam Frucci
frucci
... this morning new yorkers are rediscovered their hatred of ticketmaster, disappointment & typing captcha under pressure. #radiohead
nick ramsey
nick_ramsey
<rimshot> RT @ComfortablySmug: Tickets to the Radiohead concert, much like the band itself, have completely sold out
Lee Distad
LeeDistad
NOW GLOATING BEGINS FOR FEW SUCCESSFUL HUMANS WHO GOT TICKETS!
Which IPO Do You Want to Lose And/Or Double All Your Money In?
Rumors on the Internets put the Facebook IPO as coming early next year, which, BOOM, BANG, EVERYTHING BLOWS UP, CONFETTI, DEATH, BOTTLE SERVICE, THE FOUR HORSEMEN, INVISIBLE RICHES, CHINA BUYS BRAZIL, CATS AND DOGS HAVING SEX, THE END OF TIME, ALL THE LIGHTS GO OUT EVERYWHERE, THUNDERDOME, STERILITY, A NAKED OLYMPICS AGAIN, WE ALL TRY TO MOVE TO THE MOON, A SELECT FEW LIVE FOREVER BUT MOSTLY EVERYONE DIES. But first in IPO-landia comes Zynga (who? The makers of FarmVille) and Pandora. And Avaya ("a global leader in business communications")! For one billlllion dollars! One billion dollars. One billion dollars. (One billion dollars.)
Halloween: It's Doomsday for New Couples
Celebrating Halloween is like going to the opera: some people hate it, some love it, some people hate it but pretend to love it, and everybody’s dressed like an Italian swashbuckler. Halloween and the opera are also alike in that they’re both journeys that couples seldom embark upon separately. (Who spends girl's night out savoring the libretto in Don Giovanni?) The couples who enjoy Halloween tend to do so because it’s a chance to show off bilateral creativity while hanging with friends and maybe getting wrecked. At this very moment, legions of couples are anticipating this coming weekend with greater fervor than the Snickers-craving rugrats for whom the holiday ostensibly exists. The ones who’ve been together long enough to have sifted through and itemized each other’s garbagey baggage are probably in for a killer time. With a new relationship, though, it’s a different story. When couples are still finding their footing, neither person really knows who the other one is. If you’ve only started dating recently, Halloween is the moment when the masks come off. Boo. READ MORE
How to Vote in Wisconsin Today
Big changes, civic-minded cheeseheads. We hope you're planning to vote, even if you're one of the 20,000-odd out-of-state students at UW-Madison. The polls are open-and they'll remain open until 8 p.m. (For all you coasties, that's 9 p.m.!) Vote your peer-pressured conscience! You can find your Wisconsin polling place here. Not registered? Not to worry, you can register at the polling place. The ballot you receive will be in English-only, because this isn't the frickin' U.N. And now: to the candidates. READ MORE
Obituaries: "True Blood" Season 3 Finale Killed by Alan Ball Disease
Alan Ball Disease, a chronic but highly treatable autoimmune disorder in which a television show eats itself alive from the inside out without treatment, at last claimed last night's season finale of "True Blood." Characterized by a rapid production of unrelated plotlines and an obsessive, almost paranoid attention to their pointless unraveling and their attending tableaux, Alan Ball Disease is now recognized as the number two killer of quality television. (Coked-Up Pandering Network Exec-itis is still #1, according to the CDC.) The prime issue in diagnosing Alan Ball Disease is denial. Throughout a television season, a producer and a viewer both engage in a strange dance of mutually-agreed obliviousness. READ MORE
New York City, Bursting Burg of Bugs, Hatches Plan to Infest World!
So maybe this is how it ends for humanity: nibbled to death in your beds. New York City will release a very stern report today about how the bed bug epidemic is going out of control. We're all going to look like our pal Molly in the future! So, we've always said that New York City was a propagator of viruses that then spread throughout the world-mostly we meant intellectual ones, but now we can lay claim to being an incubator and exporter of aggressive, life-ruining insects too. Don't worry. In the year 2400, we'll have achieved a symbiotic melding with the bed bugs; they'll talk to us through our skin and provide us with oxygen in our unbreathable atmosphere, and we'll give them dinner. Turn off your "True Blood," because bed bugs are the only real vampires... for now.
Hoax McRibble Too Beautiful To Exist
Sad news (for wild animals that eat out of dumpsters): "The McRibble," as glorious and end-of-the-empire and probable as it may sound, is a hoax, McDonald's tells Consumerist. Sure it is. The truth is out there, etc.
What the World Doesn't Need Now: An "Augmented Reality Twitter Viewer"
I'd love to see this thing try and survive the Twitter Thunderdome that must be the Staples Center today. (via.)
