Posts Tagged: Nightmares
1

How To Ditch Your Job And Flee The Country

People drop things on the Internet and run all the time. So we have to ask. In this edition, producer and editor Mike Byhoff tells us more about what it’s like to leave your job, get on a plane headed for a country you know nothing about, and then spend a month abroad without an agenda or being able to speak the language.

Leaving for central america for a month in 12 hours and don't speak spanish and have basically no itinerary what the fuck am I doing.

— Mike Byhoff (@mbyhoff) February 28, 2014

Mike! We spoke at the end of February after [...]

3

Shh, Nobody Move: The Republicans Are Sane Again!

The one surprise left to us in American politics is the rare appearance of good news—that really is a shock, the jewel at the bottom of Pandora's box (ἐλπίς, the spirit of Hope, ha ha). And a certain amount of good news has been wandering over the transom in recent weeks, courtesy of the Sanity Wing of the Republican party, of all places, which until late last year I had assumed to be an entirely theoretical phenomenon, like phlogiston.

Back in October, Daily Beast "conservative pundit" David Frum spoke out against the Tea Party in no uncertain terms, calling for "the rational caucus" of Republican congressional leaders to [...]

6

When Will New York's Hugging Epidemic End?

People drop things on the Internet and run all the time. So we have to ask.

Executed maybe 20 hugs last night. Bit of over-under weirdness. Couple of is-this-a-handshake-oh-it's-a-hug things. Minimal suffocation. B+

— Amanda Hess (@amandahess) October 23, 2013

Amanda! So what happened here? I recently wrote a story at Slate arguing that people should stop hugging each other all the goddamn time. A hug with a loved one is nice. But when we outstretch our gangly arms to just about everyone, it becomes an awkward, impersonal display, and even—in the case of power-huggers like Lady Gaga—a personal branding exercise. Some huggers saw [...]

22

I Guess The Good News Is At Least We All Have A Common Enemy Now

Like, I'm gonna name my next publication Foot-Binding. Right after Corset and Girdle and On My Knees.

— Nicole Lee (@nicole) August 14, 2013

I thought this whole thing, about this man who was finally going to give women what they wanted on the web—a terrible website!—was a dream. But it was reaaaallll. (Don't miss the comments, where every woman you've ever met yells at him! Haha, it's great.) Anyway, hello gaggles! "Bustle" apparently exists. $6.5 million worth of exists. LOL. The fucking thing makes xoJane look like the collected works of Marilynne Robinson.

76

Why Does Pret A Manger Think Americans Are Stupid?

The delightful Pret A Manger sandwich shops which have taken Manhattan by storm in the last decade—in the days when they were backed by McDonald's—began in London. When Pret first showed up here, they went a bit screwy: apparently there was just too much mayo for New Yorkers and they overextended themselves and had to close stores. But they recovered—with new financial partners—quite nicely, and are a happy addition to New York City's lunch options. And back home, in London, Pret is more omnipresent than Starbucks is in New York. Why, sometimes you can see three Prets from a roundabout!

And inside the Prets of London… uh, WE AMERICANS [...]

3

Why So Many People Work at the 'New Yorker'

"For a while, we tried faithfully to reproduce the backward 'R' in Toys 'ᴙ' Us, but it went rogue and ran loose on the page every time we turned our back." ——And that's why the New Yorker can't have nice things.

18

Which IPO Do You Want to Lose And/Or Double All Your Money In?

Rumors on the Internets put the Facebook IPO as coming early next year, which, BOOM, BANG, EVERYTHING BLOWS UP, CONFETTI, DEATH, BOTTLE SERVICE, THE FOUR HORSEMEN, INVISIBLE RICHES, CHINA BUYS BRAZIL, CATS AND DOGS HAVING SEX, THE END OF TIME, ALL THE LIGHTS GO OUT EVERYWHERE, THUNDERDOME, STERILITY, A NAKED OLYMPICS AGAIN, WE ALL TRY TO MOVE TO THE MOON, A SELECT FEW LIVE FOREVER BUT MOSTLY EVERYONE DIES. But first in IPO-landia comes Zynga (who? The makers of FarmVille) and Pandora. And Avaya ("a global leader in business communications")! For one billlllion dollars! One billion dollars. One billion dollars. (One billion dollars.)

1

What To Do When Freaks Go Haywire On You On Twitter

People drop things on the Internet and run all the time. So we have to ask. In this edition, IAVA digital engagement director and Tech LadyMafia co-founder Aminatou Sow tells us more about some jerks who sought out something in her archived tweets and then used it to annoy and bother her on Twitter.

No! Conservative twitter found a Wendy Davis picture I shared in June and is ruining my life rn. This is a snaxx and beyonce feed. Go away.

— Aminatou Sow (@aminatou) February 12, 2014

Amina! So what happened here? So June 26, 2013: momentous day in lady history! [...]

2

NY1 Redesigned To Include One Less Hot Jogging Guy

In Time Warner's effort to "rebrand" NY1 to make it look just like other Time Warner local properties (WHY? We don't care about other properties!), they've redone the music and bumpers and titles and stuff. Fine. But there's a casualty of this change, as there always is.

@tmcgev @choire I didn't even know there was a hot jogger. Reviewing tapes now.

— Pat Kiernan (@patkiernan) December 16, 2013

That's right. Along the way, NY1 killed Hot Jogger Guy, who used to appear in the pre-weather montage thingey, whoever he is. RIP Hot Jogger Guy. We'll always have this screenshot of you.

1

"Entourage": The Tumblr Of The Movie Script

So someone's writing an "Entourage" movie script Tumblr.

5

The #1 Reason NYC Subway Honcho Joe Lhota Will Never Be Mayor

As the poet said: how many trains must pass a man by until they call him a cab?

20

Welcome Back, Economic Disaster!

The number of long-term unemployed (those jobless for 27 weeks and over) rose from 5.1 to 5.4 million in May.

— James Pethokoukis (@JimPethokoukis) June 1, 2012

The image being used on Business Insider to describe today's jobs numbers is of stuff blowing up. "The yield on the benchmark on the 10-year Treasury note plunged to 1.46 percent, the lowest on record." The U-6 (total unemployed, plus marginally attached, plus people forced into part-time work, as percent of labor force) is down from a year ago but up from last month, just under 15%. But here's the long view on jobs; here's [...]

20

Savage Night at the Philharmonic

Tuesday night's New York Philharmonic performance of the Mahler Ninth was stopped dead by an unusual instrument–the iPhone. An iPhone (using the marimba ring-tone) went off repeatedly in the fourth movement of Mahler's final completed symphony…. [New York Philharmonic Music Director Alan Gilbert] asked the man, sitting in front of the concert-master: "Are you finished?" The man didn't respond.

"Fine, we'll wait," Mr. Gilbert said.

The Avery Fisher Hall audience, ripped in an untimely fashion from Mahler's complicated sound-world, reacted with "seething rage." Someone shouted "Thousand dollar fine." This was followed by cries of "Get out!" and "Kick him out!"

They should have ripped the aging master-of-the-world [...]

28

Sarah Palin's Judgmental Breathing

(Made by.)

0

Should We Worry About What The Centers For Disease Control Is Calling "Nightmare Bacteria"?

"CDC: Better Antibiotic Practices Needed to Combat ‘Nightmare Bacteria’"

17

No We Are Not Joking About The Great Mind-Wasting Horror That Is The DMV

People drop things on the Internet and run all the time. So we have to ask.

Went to the Herald Square DMV this morning at 9:45 to get a NY state ID. Walked out w/ all the paperwork done at 2:40pm. It took FIVE HOURS.

— Dana Stevens (@thehighsign) November 20, 2013

Dana! So what happened here? Some backstory is probably in order before I get into the details of what went down. Let’s start with the fact that I’ve survived the past 15 years as a New York State resident without any form of state ID. During that period, I’ve spent more time flashing my [...]

10

This Witch Wrote My Book!

August 11th was a huge day in my life. I was at Think Coffee on Fourth Avenue. I had just finished, at age 27, my very first novel. I told the barista, who gave me a high five. This was nice of him, given that this probably happens at said coffee shop way more often than we'd like to think.

I had been working on it for two-and-a-half years, showing it to no one, periodically reading it aloud to only two people—my partner and my ex. The book was a story about the Baba Yaga, the witch from Ukrainian folklore. I first encountered her as a child in Neil [...]

3

Are You A Slave To Your CMS?

"The headline is finding relevance far beyond news media as it becomes a key weapon in fields like politics and business. No longer the exclusive province of copy editors, it is now the cornerstone of emailed political appeals, the fulcrum of crowdsourcing capital on Kickstarter, and arguably the basis of an entire communications medium, the all-headlines microblogging system Twitter…. New York-based Upworthy is part of a gamble by founders from Facebook, Reddit, and BuzzFeed that headlines can advance political change and profits at the same time. The aggregator, whose seed round closed this past October, makes editors write at least 25 different headlines for each post, then plugs top [...]

14

Scientists Baffled by the Brutal, Terrible Mystery of "Pine Mouth"!

As you likely know, pine mouth is a hideous, prolonged, somewhat rare, random response to having eaten pine nuts. What's it like? Here's our first-person report: "You're terrified that you are going insane. Everything tastes like you are choking on lemon zest." Now, a new publication by the Journal of Agricultural & Food Chemistry finds esteemed scientists literally throwing up their hands. They learned a lot about pine nuts and their composition! But nothing useful: "An etiological agent for pine mouth has not been identified either for the cases reported in Europe or for those reported in the United States. Suggestions regarding causality range from the [...]

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All Your Radiohead Tickets Are Belong to Machines!!11!

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Anonymous should really make Ticketmaster their next target. #radioheadMon Sep 26 14:21:52 via webMichael Neffheyneff

Everyone in the Radiohead demographic hates Ticketmaster so much right now. MACHINES SAY: SCALPING IS GOOD BUSINESS.