Remember in Nicholson Baker's The Mezzanine, when the guy breaks his shoelaces and goes out at his lunch break to buy himself a new pair and this somehow becomes a totally wonderful novel? Well, fans of that book are lucky that that guy didn't choose to instead replace his broken string with these 24-karat gold shoelaces that the ridiculous designer Mr. Kennedy makes in Colombia. Because if he'd bought them, one of the ten pairs that exist in the world, I mean, a personal security detail would have delivered them to him and laced them into his shoes right there in his Rochester office—and he wouldn't [...]

We have just been alerted to the fact of an upcoming book: "Nicholson Baker's House of Holes is gleefully provocative, off-the-charts sex novel that is unlike anything you’ve read." I suppose we can test that assertion on August 9, 2011, when Simon & Schuster drops that sex bomb. First he destroys our conception of World War II, now he's going to make us rethink how we put things inside of other things? SOME NERVE.

Rhumpa was her name, and, yes, she paid a visit to the House of Holes. The people she was staying with in New Haven were wealthy and under-read. Although they were middle-aged, their minds were very young and she couldn't take them seriously. She saw a pepper grinder in the middle of the table, and while they talked about the price of tires she unscrewed the little knob on the top, and when it came off she lifted the wooden part off the central spindly thing and looked inside, where she could see in the shadows of peppercorns. She thought, The peppercorns are waiting to be ground up. They're still [...]

On Monday Choire discussed Nicholson Baker's New Yorker piece about the Kindle. I finally got around to reading the thing last night, and while I am in no way qualified to address the merits of his argument (I'm enough of a Luddite that I only broke down and bought a cellphone in 2006) I will say this: I need to use the word "spinnakered" more often in my writing. Also "pheromonal."

"May I ask who you are?" she asked politely.

The hands stopped. "I am Alexander Borodin, the very famous Russian composer," said the voice.

Luna looked back at Chuck, who had begun playing with her hair. "But Alex," she said, "didn't you write the Polovetsian Dances something like a hundred and twenty, hundred and thirty years ago?"

"Yes, but I'm here now to play your leg like the keys of a piano keyboard," he said.

Chuck kissed her forehead. "Just enjoy it."

"Okay, carry on," Luna said.

Nicholson Baker's House of Holes will be released on August 9th. It's… like this.