Do you have or know small children who go to a school for small people? Then you may know about the latest fad for the littlest consumers: terrifying campus lockdowns. Because our Constitution requires all citizens to keep enough guns and ammo to wipe out everyone in their zip code, it takes nothing more than a threatening phone call or some gibberish on Facebook to turn your neighborhood school into a potential site of mass murder.

My oldest child, a second grader, spent the latter part of his Tuesday class time huddled in fear underneath a desk, which is what they were all trained to do after Newtown. In every [...]

"[T]he reporter announces 'no considerable News, except that the Emperor of China, his Court, and a great Part of his Kingdom have embraced the Christian Religion; but this is too extraordinary to be believed without farther Confirmation.' It got me thinking about the media conversation in the wake of the Newtown shooting—about how, like during so many breaking stories, reporters were too quick to report details that turned out to be incorrect."

Look at this headline, if your faith is strong enough: "Why I Raise My Children Without God." Whoa, what is going on at CNN.com? Did someone forget that CNN's job is to protect God from weird blog posts by random moms in Texas? What if a child finds out there's no God? Oh don't worry, we're pretty sure Newtown took care of that, for the current generation of five-year-olds. And now our children supposedly shouldn't be narcissists? Is that even American, to not think the entire world and also an All-Powerful Deity exists solely to get you certain presents and make you a rapper on reality television someday?

"Calling the shooting a 'watershed event' in the national debate on gun control, Cerberus Capital, a New York-based firm that manages over $20 billion, said in a statement Tuesday it planned to sell off its investment in the Freedom Group. Freedom Group bills itself as a 'family' of more than a dozen firearm companies including Bushmaster Firearms." —Looks like a certain New York bunch of urban elitists are getting their man cards revoked.

"The firearms business is coming under mounting market pressure as calls for new restrictions on gun ownership following last week’s school slaughter drove down shares of two major players and led some retailers to begin pulling specific products from shelves." —Capitalism may need some couples therapy to help repair its relationship with the murder-weapon industry.

Photo by Pop Culture Geek.

• A 42-year-old destitute maniac fired 50 rounds at the Fashion Island luxury mall in Newport Beach, California, on Saturday evening. No one was injured.
• A nut shot an employee at the Excalibur hotel-casino in Las Vegas on Friday night, and then shot himself to death.
• A man opened fire on people in a restaurant and then a movie theater parking lot in San Antonio on Sunday night, injuring one person before being shot by an off-duty sheriff's deputy working as a security guard.
• In Mississippi, one man is dead and two are injured (including the dead man's father) "after an argument over a man 'doing [...]