You think the story 4 Year Old Boy: "My Daddy Ate My Eyes" is as bad as it gets, and then you check KTLA's "Most Interesting!" list next to that crazed tale of woe. "Toddler Found Buried In Playground"! "Pregnant Mom Stabbed To Death"! Then you realize you are on a different Internet. Some digital netherworld where bored, anxious, terrorist-hating stay-at-homes need to know that Things Are Really Bad. Also "Man Rescues Ducklings Jumping from High Ledge." Yay ducklings. Huh. The Matrix was a true story, right?