"The real insult to those who died on 9/11 is not a mosque that Ground Zero visitors won't even know is there, but how long it's taking to rebuild the WTC — an affront that can't be blamed on Islam at its most maniacal." -Steve Cuozzo, who is occasionally called upon to play the role of adult at the New York Post, addresses the "controversy" over plans-thus far unfunded and theoretical at best-to build a mosque downtown. You would not know this from reading Cuozzo's piece-headlined "Oh, stop this inane hysteria already!"-but most of the "controversy" has been whipped up by the Post itself. Still, credit where credit is [...]
Remember newspapers? Remember Cindy Adams? She writes a sassy gossip column for a newspaper, the New York Post, that is available online, but because Cindy doesn't do Gossip Girl recaps, she doesn't get a lot of link love on the Internet. Which is too bad, because 80-year-old Cindy, it turns out, is still awesome.
I was reminded today that she still exists because I had lunch at a Manhattan coffee shop and spotted a crumpled copy of today's New York Post near the front counter. I know – how sweet, right? Some elderly person probably brought it in and left it behind. I grabbed it and sat down to read [...]
The New York Post looks at the top-selling items at the Riker's Island commissary, where inmates "might get shanked — but they're never gouged." Leading the list of purchases: ramen noodles, the seasoning package of which is used to enhance other jailhouse fare. What else sells? Processed meat products and pastries are popular, apparently. "Perhaps the last words one wants to hear in the pokey are 'beef stick' or 'honey bun,' but those two snacks have both been staples of the inmate diet for decades, officials said." There are cosmetics on offer too! "Soap is a big seller at the commissaries. Alas, it doesn't come on a rope." [...]
If you go by the New York Post's selection of its best front pages of the decade, we ushered in The Nads with the 9/11 terrorist attacks and ushered them out with the revelation that an illustrious linksman banged a bunch of broads. Unnoted in the review of the past ten years: the bit of prognostication to your left, and the classic "Benedict Jeffords," which brought us all so much hope for new EIC Col Allan's tenure. Going over this list, a couple of things stand out: 1) It's weird to think that it was only in this decade that full-color front pages became standard, and 2) Wow, what [...]
I saw this morning's New York Post and it raised in me a great interest! "Successful New Yorkers" will pay 57% tax under Obama, says the front page of the paper! (Their alleged "front page" online says something different than on newsstands; in that universe, only New York's "risk takers" will pay 57% tax.) Well, I am a highly successful New Yorker! I am concerned! What does this mean for me?
"An employee of teddy-bear giant Steiff is making some grisly allegations against the company's CEO, charging he sexually harassed her for years — and raped her," reports the Post this morning. The paper also captions photos of the CEO and his accuser with "ANIMAL: Jane Collins says Martin Frechen, her boss at the Steiff teddy-bear firm, couldn't keep his claws off her and raped her." All in all, we suppose it's better than, say, "Jane Collins loved most of her duties at Steiff, but she found the rape parts unbearable!" Still, it's a pretty close-run thing.
"You know," Marge Simpson once famously declared, "Fox turned into a hardcore sex channel so gradually, I didn't even notice." That quote seems somewhat prescient today, as News Corp's New York Post encourages you to watch bystanders get mowed down in a film stunt gone awry and observe the moment when a man is murdered. Honestly, if we're really gonna go this way, at least bring on some porn to make it a little less depressing.
The New York Post devotes a full spread today to the subject of Softball: Is It For Dykes? Using its slightly upmarket sister publication the Wall Street Journal's decision to put a picture of Supreme Court nominee Elana Kagan with bat in hand on its front page, the Post goes deep, asking whether the sport is a signifier for Sapphic sensibilities. (This, perhaps not unintentionally, also allows the Murdoch organ to blare the words "Elena Kagan" and "she's a lesbian" across the top of the page.) In case you are not convinced, there is actual testimony from South Florida "freelance writer and lifelong softball player" Amy Guthrie, who [...]
Col Allan and his friends at the New York Post despise America and also human life, as evidenced by the comments on this story about the mysterious death of a New Yorker, who was class of '05 at NYU. Why Rupert Murdoch would want to host this kind of vulgarity on the Internet, which could easily be prevented with about $38,000 a year in the form of a comments moderator staff position, is pretty unfathomable, particularly when the paper considers itself a moral crusader. I mean, even the Gawker comments are sort of respectful and empathetic! What a world.
"It's not just that the paper focuses on human passions; it also focuses on the right humans. The secret source of its staying power is its emphasis on what I'll call MLNCBB: mid-level noncelebrity bad behavior, the kind of crime and punishment stories that fascinate precisely because they're committed not by the gods and goddess of the red carpet but by (relatively) ordinary human beings who suddenly do extraordinarily ill-advised things, up to and including murder. Crime stories, usually with some bizarre, out-of-the-box twist, ones with often hidden but nonetheless accessible moral and philosophical implications, are the meat and potatoes of the Post's stew." -Ron Rosenbaum examines the [...]
This would be hysterical if it weren't so predictable.
Due to secrecy and the difficulty of obtaining accurate intelligence, it's hard to know exactly the state of North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il's health. But if the latest reports that he has terminal cancer turn out to be true (the three captions above are presented in reverse order) we're pretty sure that he will be mourned the most by the headline writers at the New York Post.
Numbers, charts, and graphs are all around us. What do they mean? What connections can we make from them? Who will help us understand the things they say? Our resident statistician, that's who! He will attempt to explain the digits that shape your world. This week: The Pinch-O-Meter.
The flurry of trend stories about the imminent release of the ode to consumption Sex And The City 2 will not cease until this movie really fulfills its Ishtar… For Chicks potential, will it? Today's New York Post has yet another profile of four women who are Living The Lifestyle, as it were, only there's a crucial twist: The ladies profiled are not friends, but they are all, by the punishingly youthful standards of Post trend stories, ancient. Or, sorry, as the Post puts it, "living proof that the Big Apple is still the sexiest city of all – for women of all ages." (Like 40! Gasp!) Each [...]
Say this for the Post: when they have a great headline, they don't hide it under a bushel. The tragic story of three retired police horses who were euthanized because it would be too difficult to transport them to another farm-a situation which everyone who has once been a child might think is the nice way of saying "had them put down"-is gifted with the remarkable title "NYPD Glue." The article itself is rather unusual in its shock and horror over the whole affair, given that the Post's editorial line seems to suggest a desire to euthanize all the retired humans from our city's civil service, lest they draw [...]
The lawsuit from former Post employee Sandra Guzman is being eagerly consumed all over town. Because, you know: "Ms. Guzman and three female employees of the Post were sharing drinks at an after-work function. ['Post' honcho and now defendant Col] Allan approached the group of women, pulled out his blackberry and asked them 'What do you think of this?' On his blackberry was a picture of a naked man lewdly and openly displaying his penis." (As opposed to doing so not lewdly, but whatever!) Except, it's been pointed out, there is no glee at the Daily News, which didn't even bother to gloat. Ben Smith makes a great point: [...]
The thing with humble beginnings in American life is that one is supposed to leave them decorously as just that-the harrowing, Dickensian prologue to an adult life of implacable success and celebrity splendor. That's why the personal story of Sonia Sotomayor is being tirelessly rehearsed as a classic instance of the American Dream coming true-something that claims its significance on the basis of what the Bronx-bred jurist left behind, as opposed to her much-bruited views on how her ethnic heritage continues to shape her approach to her job.
The New York Post, April 27
The New York Post, today: "IN the latest sign of the germaphobic times, an antibacterial Purell dispenser has appeared in the White House briefing room. Reporters, who belong to the media that bears some blame for hyping the swine flu scare, were laughing at the chest-high contraption and some had themselves photographed in front of it before Friday's White House briefing."