There is a new book about high-functioning alcoholics written by a woman who claims membership in the tribe but was really ONLY A BINGE DRINKER, which is the prop comedy of alcoholism. Binge drinkers are the sports fans who start paying attention when their team makes the playoffs of alcoholism. Binge drinkers are "I only snort, no needles" heroin users of alcoholism. I DISPUTE HER AUTHORITY. Also, where is the survival guide for mid-functioning alcoholics, because that is something that I could really use.