Oh my God, I heard the new Britney song on the radio. For those of you who do not have radios or did not know there was a new song by Britney Spears that "leaked" yesterday on the Internet (AKA how we release music now), you are living in a world where you have not come face-to-face with the monstrousness of contemporary emptiness. I say this as a person who owns Britney Spears albums! As a person who is resolutely unafraid of "oh baby, look at my butt in da club" music! But if you have previously experienced the work of Ke$ha, you may have guessed what was [...]

In the 90s music history We Never Learn, Eric Davidson (of the late scuzz-thrash combo New Bomb Turks) makes the case for what he calls "gunk punk." The term is as tossed-off and derelict as it sounds. A group of punk drifters from the late-80s took a heady mélange of horror comics and sci-fi b-movies, a fuck-all approach to recording, Cramps-worship (or -hate), Russ Meyer and Bettie Page, the Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs classic "Woolly Bully," and mixed them into an amphetamine and beer gumbo under the tutelage of figureheads like Billy Childish and Tim Warren. (The latter's "Back From The Grave" compilations-a Nuggets for forgotten [...]
HEY CHICAGO! Your hosts Tyler Coates and Maura Johnston would love to receive you at 11 a.m. on Sunday, at WestEnd, on Madison west of Racine. Location chosen due to its 11-minute walking distance from the Pitchfork Festival! Time chosen so no one has to miss Best Coast!

Hey now, really, to whom are all these people talking on their phones, all the time, behind the wheel, and in these stores and behind me and even in more improbable places, such as at the pedicurist's? Are you on the phone that much? Do you people not have text messages or something? I personally have answered my phone to only two people in the last sixteen days, and then I don't know who the rest of these people are (sorry, I don't know what the numbers are, and their attending people), and so I let it go to voicemail, except I keep my voicemail full, because I don't [...]
You would have no reason to know that all winter I've been attending night school, in pursuit of my Master's in Gay Mixmastery. (This is over at the Finishing School for Homosexualist Gentlemen, which, naturally, closed down for much of the week after the death of Alexander McQueen. It is in Chelsea?) In furtherance of my degree, I had to turn in a final class project, which, because it is now the weekend, we will share with the Internet for no good reason.