These are some creepy-ass pictures. You've been warned.
"Monkeys living in a Dutch zoo have been behaving strangely over the last week, sitting listlessly with their backs turned to visitors and even refusing food. Something may have spooked them, with theories including a scary T-shirt, a runaway snake or a UFO."
Is this Texas' tiniest rodeo cowboy? Sure, why the hell not. Also worth noting: "He's no prima donna."
It is against the law to keep monkeys as pets in Pennsylvania. Now you know!
"Ten years ago this month, reporters descended upon the small town of Danville, New Hampshire, population 3500, in the southeastern portion of the state midway between Manchester and the seacoast. They came to cover the search for a giant monkey that had been spotted prowling the forests and stealing food from terrified residents."
So, that was January, 2011 in New York: 31 straight days with snow on the ground. Thirty-six total inches—a new all-time record for the month! And there's more to come as February gets started. I've been hearing a lot of complaining about it from humans. But you know who you don't hear complaining about it? Tigers. Or monkeys.
Here's your feelgood story of the day. I have taken a look at what lies ahead for the rest of the week and this may actually be as good as it gets, so you should probably savor it.
"A monkey, hiding in the back seat of the truck, reached forward as the officer asked for a signature, and attacked his hand, and the camera attached to his glasses caught the whole thing," is what the news report says in the world we live in now.
"A marauding monkey that terrorized resort towns in central Japan last year by biting nearly 120 people has escaped captivity. Officials in Mishima City said the monkey slipped out of the government-run nature park it had been kept at since its capture last October when a keeper was cleaning its cage. The city published an emergency notice urging residents to lock their doors, though no new attacks have been reported." The monkey is named "Lucky."
"[T]he first detailed observations of swimming chimpanzees and orang-utans suggest that they, like us, tend to swim using a form of breaststroke,"and OMG here's video of them swimming! THEY THINK THEY'RE PEOPLE!
Here you will find a slideshow of monkeys with funny faces.
"An experiment on primate alcoholism may have gotten out of control recently in Augusta where police found an allegedly intoxicated lab technician with his pants down in a room with uncaged monkeys."
Dog And Monkey Frolic About, Unencumbered By The Awkwardness That So Often Complicates Relationships Between Different Types Of Being
Please enjoy this heartwarming tale of interspecies communication that should serve as a valuable lesson to all of us on how to focus on our similarities rather than the things that set us apart. If that's not enough for you there's a squirrel eating a rose below.
Oh, man, I am so going out for fried chicken tonight! Or, more likely, ordering in. THANK YOU SCIENCE!
Laurence R. Gesquiere, a research associate in the department of ecology and evolutionary biology at Princeton, and colleagues report in the journal Science that in five troops of wild baboons in Kenya studied over nine years, alpha males showed very high stress levels, as high as those of the lowest-ranking males.
The stress, they suggested, was probably because of the demands of fighting off challengers and guarding access to fertile females. Beta males, who fought less and had considerably less mate guarding to do, had much lower stress levels. They had fewer mating opportunities than the alphas, but they did get some mating in, more than any lower-ranking [...]