Total Beauty, a website that exists to get products in the hands of consumers, founded by the former digital brand manager of Procter & Gamble, for some reason thought it would be awesome to do a slideshow called "Eight Cities with the Ugliest Guys: Do you live in one of these dogtowns?." Yes. They did! (Ha, DOGTOWNS.) At number five, we find a tie between Mobile, Alabama and Huntington, West Virginia, because they are the most toothless cities in the nation. Oh my God, the edentulate are so fug, you guys! At number three? Miami, somehow. (Ugly like Andy Garcia and Timbaland!) At number one? El Paso, Texas. Uh oh. "15 percent of the dudes in this Lone Star city have less than a 9th grade education. The city also suffers from a notably high rate of obesity, 32 percent are in below average health and 30 percent do not exercise regularly, which is probably why there are so few gyms in town." Yes. Four out of five El Paso residents, by the way, are Hispanic or Latino. The median income for a man in El Paso? $29,000 a year. Whatever, people will write anything on the Internet. But you know what is uglier than Mexican dudes? NOTHING, I guess!