I was barely a moment inside Walmart, studying the cucumbers and avocados, when a middle-aged man came up to say hi.

We started talking about the oil boom sweeping Williston, North Dakota. He said his coworkers were losing it out here in the middle of nowhere. Maybe he would lose it too.

"You gotta really be focused on your shit," he said. "And it's hard. And on that note, that's why you should let me take you to dinner."

I declined. He called later that evening to ask me on a date. He said he'd take me to Pizza Hut. I was not pining for a rendezvous with a roustabout [...]

Bare Ankle Subway Census: Men Outnumber Women

— Mike Nizza (@mikenizza) April 9, 2013

TRUTH. It is on. One warm day and it's ankles everywhere. Don't you people have business meetings? Anyway, we know socks are hard, but please do your loved ones a favor and invest in Secret Socks.

If you enjoyed the usual American male weekend of constant television viewing while sunk deep in the pizza-crush folds of your sofa, evolution has already decided it doesn't want your kind in the generations to come. That's why low-activity men who watch lots of television have dramatically lower sperm counts than those who get some exercise.

The subjects of the study were college-aged men in New York state, aged 18-22. The first group did 15 hours of "moderate to vigorous physical activity per week," about 2 hours daily. The second group just slobbed out in front of the flat screen for 20 or more hours weekly. Besides being incredibly [...]

"Classically, a stereotypical tough guy is imagined to have a broad face, a square jaw, and a stoical demeanor. Existing research even supports this association, linking wider, more masculine faces with several less-than-cuddly characteristics, including perceived lack of warmth, dishonesty, and lack of cooperation. However, in the new study, researchers found that men with these wide, masculine faces aren’t always the aggressive tough guys they appear to be."

Since we gathered a truly huge pile of data from our online dating survey, we've published advice about how to improve online dating for everyone, for folks who date men and folks who date women. Now, in our final installment of this very special dating survey roundup, we bring you: The Most Horrific Things Encountered While Online Dating. A word of warning here? Most of these are really funny. And then, in a small section towards the end, some of them are absolutely not funny. We're including some extremely frank stuff, including about sexual assault. If you're not up for reading about that today, you should take a [...]

• Intimidating track-suited Khazak dad; some facial scarring.

• Estonian snowboarder with extra abrasions.

• Stubbly-hot chunky commuter in a bad grey suit and a reverse ring-tan.

• "His leg hair says he's an adult, but his clothing says he's 15, probably we should look away now, oh Jesus, is that his mother, or a girlfriend, or what, why does everyone under 26 look like a fetus now?"

Entrepreneur Jason Calacanis made the call yesterday to speculate and crowdsource about the Boston bombings—"'Shut up and let the cops do their job’ in the case of a terrorist attack is EXACTLY wrong"—but he needn't worry, Reddit is all over it. They have a spreadsheet even! So let's find out how the nice folks at /findbostonbombers are doing.

• "I hate to even bring up this point, but when I have seen videos of radical Islamists yelling 'allahu akbar' in the past, I seem to recall seeing them make something like the pinched thumb and forefingers gesture he is making in the second picture."

• "also could it [...]

12. Juror #10

11. Juror #9

10. Juror #3

9. Juror #7

8. Juror #4

"In early 2013, the LRRL proposed a simple solution: a curfew for men. Every male person over the age of thirteen would be legally required to be accompanied by at least one female person over the age of eighteen when leaving his home between the hours of 9 p.m. and 6 a.m." —Is this how humanity will stop rape?

The lies of fashion were many and various today. And they were all aimed at the lesser, more worried sex.

1. PLEATS ARE BACK said the Murdoch St. Journal.

2. Perma-tied bow-ties are ALL THE RAGE, says the Gay Lady (that is the styles section of the New York Times).

Pleats are not back—the evidence was even sketchy in the "trend" piece, as they lumped in Prada with the four makers of pleated pants, with Prada's unpleated but darted pants. (There is a particular Prada pant infesting the stores right now that has 100% vertical pockets and is shaped pretty much like a jodhpur. It [...]

Content series are produced in partnership with our sponsors. This edition of "Pants: What Are They!??" is brought to you by Life Khaki from Haggar.

Do you know who really, really cared about pants? Peter the Great, that’s who. “Peter The Who?” you ask? This specific Peter was the tsar of Russia who became the "Emperor of All Russia" in the early 1700s. His tenure was committed to the modernization of Russia, which at the time was not so modern. Of the reforms enacted was the Decree on Modern Dress, issued in 1701, providing for Russians that "the upper dress shall be of French or Saxon [...]

I'm not sure that I'm sold on this new book, but I'm DEFINITELY pro any venture that is in favor of real-talking women about straight men. People don't break up with people enough! Go on, break up with someone today! If you love something and it doesn't love you right back, stab it until it loves you correctly!

If you fly a lot, you'll either be caught up on your fine literature reading or more likely on the comedies that are available in the iTunes store, home of DRM and overpriced rentals. (Also home to movies that are difficult to watch on planes, because suddenly there's boobies on your bright portable device and you're like "Oh my God, there's an eight-year-old about 20 inches behind me.") After the comedies that launched a thousand post-"Are Women Funny" magazine pieces, then in the iterated form of "Are Women Box Office" magazine pieces—those would be about Bridesmaids and then about Anna Faris, because of course we're all so very concerned about [...]

Emily Witt's great piece today on the nofap movement-thing—all about the subreddit where men get together to talk about not masturbating!—points out that it's mostly all about men trying to get their "alpha" back. Or get it for the first time.

When you look at the subreddit, the themes come up again and again: "I relapsed less than a month away from my one year milestone." "Skeptic hooks up with chick he's been trying to bag for months. THANK YOU NOFAP!" "At Day 39, first 'Super Power.'" Magical self-realization!

And then the rest of their talk is couched in the language of 12-step recovery: relapse, shame, triggers, [...]

Appearing here Wednesdays, Turning The Screw provides existential crisis counseling for the faint of heart. "Because he's just not that into anything, really, except himself."

Hi Polly,

I met this funny, quiet, artistic, and all-around wonderful man shortly after I had escaped from an abusive relationship. We hit it off and started out a casual (albeit, exclusive) thing. I saw from the beginning that he was a bit of a flirt, in a self-deprecating, sarcastic kind of way that made women go "Oh youuuuu!" but hey, that's what drew ME to him in the first place, so what the hell.

Fast forward 2.5 years. We've moved in together, [...]

"Why does the male nude get no respect?"

Supplemental reading: Marco Roth and Gideon Lewis-Kraus at 192 Books; the n+1 reading at KGB; Barefoot Runners NYC. (Subscribe on iTunes)

Which one of these dudes with venture capital would you do? All/none? Yes/no? It's not a trick question, take your time.

Do you need to know about adulthood and what men are really about? Actor and theorist Paul Rudd can explain it to you quite well, in glasses, over at Rookie.