Megan Fox
Has dark brown locks
Worn parted in the middle
And when she speaks
She often shocks but still remains a riddle

Though Megan Fox
Dons sultry frocks
She's really quite demure
It bothers her
That other girls all treat her like a whore

Megan Fox
Has taken knocks
From those with whom she's worked
And though she isn't blameless
She can't help but still be irked

Megan Fox
Quite clearly rocks
She's fun and self-aware
She plays the game and knows the rules:
Boys like it when girls swear

Megan Fox
Lives in a box
Where all the men behold her
But not forever; watch the clocks:
All pretty girls grow older

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Actor Reno Wilson, who voices Mudflap and is himself black so it's okay (unlike Tom Kenny, the white person who voices Skids and is best know as the voice of yellow-supremacist cartoon Spongebob Squarepants) denies the accusations. He points to the logic of the film to bolster his rejection of the complaint.

"It's an alien who uploaded information from the Internet and put together the conglomeration and formed this cadence, way of speaking and body language that was accumulated over X amount of years of information and that's what came out," the 40-year-old actor said. "If he had uploaded country music, he would have come out like that."

It's not fair to assume the characters are black, he said.

"It could easily be a Transformer that uploaded Kevin Federline data," Wilson said. "They were just like posers to me."

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VAGUELY RELATED: Air Bags May Be Harmful to Your Thumbs

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Variety says the movie "takes the franchise to a vastly superior level of artificial intelligence. As for human intelligence, it's primarily at the service of an enhanced arsenal of special effects, which helmer Michael Bay deploys like a general launching his very own shock-and-awe campaign on the senses. Otherwise, little seems new compared to the first installment, except that this version is longer, louder, and perhaps 'more than your eye can meet' in one sitting."

The Hollywood Reporter calls it "a nonstop whirl of flying, battling and crashing machinery.... With its intelligence at the level of the simple-minded, however, the film is not likely to attract moviegoers who seek something more than a screen filled with kaleidoscopes of colored metal. Fan boys will no doubt love it, but for the uninitiated it's loud, tedious and, at 147 minutes, way too long."

On the other hand they add that co-star Megan Fox "has little to do except look great in a tank top and tight jeans while running in slow motion through flying sand," so maybe it's worth a little low-frequency hearing damage.

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I'm inclined to accept that, but I'm also curious: For how much longer will it continue to be the case? Do kids still learn about the Mona Lisa in school? Does it carry the same significance to successive generations that it has for the last 100-odd years? Do their Adderall-addled brains, rewired by Google and spoiled for choice, give this and similar iconic images the same priority that once made it a top five box on the standard-issue Western culture checklist? Do they still sing "She'll Be Coming 'Round The Mountain?" and "This Land Is Your Land?" and whatever else I grew up learning? And, if not, are those necessarily bad things?

I don't know! That's a lot of questions for which I have no answer and which people have obviously been asking for a while now. I'm curious to hear your thoughts. Do you think we're close to living in a world where the most well-known portrait of a lady is something like this?

Because I might be okay with that.

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Two things: Megan Fox is hot, and Harold Hayes is rotating around in his grave like a doner kebab on a spit.

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