Short and Boston-ey New York City mayor Mike Bloomberg has already spent $18 million on his reelection campaign this year. Against NO ONE. And so this results in what is most likely the greatest story ever written, about the Bloomberg campaign's army of consultants and volunteers, who are basically spending the election eating pizza and, like many people in City Hall, waiting for potential jobs at the Bloomberg Foundation, which is where all good loyal Bloomberg soldiers go to work-retire and attend conferences and take people out to lunch and recline in splendor. Not that things aren't so cushy now at the campaign, when you are making $16,000 a month to pursue labor endorsements, or your web company is billing Bloomberg $1.7 million for, like, a website. Hahahaha! EVERYONE IN THE WORLD MUST STOP AND READ THIS!