Posts tagged as Masturbation
The Horrible NYC Starbucks Bathroom Masturbator
I'm at Starbucks (4 W 21st St., 5th Ave., New York) http://t.co/XPECRWbA
Mister PeePee
MisterPeePee
"A guy who calls himself Mister PeePee set a goal of masturbating in every Starbucks in New York City, then photographing the results. Don't believe it? You can listen to this self-described 'big fan of Starbucks' discuss his plans — in detail — on a podcast, and read his results on Twitter."
Disturbed Lady Begs for Divorce on Jane Pratt's Website
Wow, so the long-awaited Jane Pratt website has arrived and... well, here is a truly horrifying first-person essay by a woman who obsessively monitors her husband's masturbation and should probably be divorced post-haste. It's incredible. She also recounts her attempts to talk to him about his "personal time" (ugh) and how he isn't interested in chatting and she seems to find this shocking. (Guess what? He doesn't want to talk about it!) Also she demands that he be fantasizing about her while this happens, which, I didn't realize the only kind of appropriate monogamy extended to brain waves. I guess the good news is that their marriage is otherwise so great that they have nothing else to worry about. Elsewhere on the site, ladies who know music are infuriated by the site's little "Where Have All the Paula Coles Gone?" blog post. Which, Paula Cole??? Paula Cole is a thing we miss? If so, good news, she just put out a new album eight months ago. All told: we're gonna wait this one out! We like having more things on the Internet. We like Jane Pratt. We're just... concerned. Their tagline, after all, is "where women go when they are being selfish, and where their selfishness is applauded." Just what the Internet needed more of!
A Compendium Of Masturbating Animals
"Elephants have been known to rub up against rocks for pleasure. However, to collect semen from captive elephants for artificial insemination, zookeepers must manually stimulate a bull's rectum to massage its prostate (yep, that means some poor zoo worker has to don a glove and reach up there). Fun fact: Elephant penises are curved like an S, and can reach 3-5 feet (1 to 1.5 meters) in length with a 6-inch (16-centimeters) girth. Meanwhile, elephant clitorises can reach more than a foot long (40 cm)!" READ MORE
Why Do Squirrels Masturbate?
Science, not persuaded by the commonsense answer of "because they can," has a theory about why squirrels masturbate: It's to avoid squirrel STDs. "A masturbating squirrel gets cleaner genitals in two ways – it scrubs the outside bit and flushes out the inside ones."
New Jersey And Mountain Lions Really Not Perfect Together
There have been four reports of possible mountain lion sightings in densely populated central New Jersey over the past week. People are alarmed. Helicopters have been on the hunt. A motion-sensitive camera has been trained on a deer carcass set up in the woods as bait. Police are skeptical. Mountain lions have been extinct in the Northeast nearly a century. "We're not out chasing a mountain lion nor do we believe there is a mountain lion," said Manalapan police captain Chris Marsala. But I don't think this is about a curly-haired student filming himself masturbating in classrooms at Brookdale Community College.
Lent, Part One
"Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against thee in thought, word, and deed, by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. For the sake of thy Son Jesus Christ, have mercy on us, because we'll probably do it again tomorrow." READ MORE
Not Everything In New Jersey Is As Pretty As That Stretch Of The Turnpike That Runs Past Elizabeth
So the high school baseball coach who had his players text him upon completion of their masturbation sessions was found guilty Friday. He's set to be sentenced to prison in April, facing up to 100 years. You get the feeling The Boss won't be writing a song about this one.
There's Gotta Be Better Ways For A Teenager To Make $35 Dollars A Day
A high school baseball coach is in trial in New Jersey for allegedly talking to his players about their masturbation habits. A number of the former players at Belmar's St. Rose High School have told jurors how their 43-year-old coach asked that they send him a text message every time they masturbated. The coach would pay up to $5 per text, the players said, and devised a code in which they were provide details. The Asbury Park Press Reports, "The code included a number for the duration of the act and a one-word description of how it felt-from bad to good to excellent."
