The Awl http://www.theawl.com/ Be Less Stupid Mon, 14 Dec 2009 12:05:19 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.2 Karen Hughes and Mark Penn Claim They're Out of the "Just Making Stuff Up" Business http://www.theawl.com/2009/12/karen-hughes-and-mark-penn-claim-theyre-out-of-the-just-making-stuff-up-business http://www.theawl.com/2009/12/karen-hughes-and-mark-penn-claim-theyre-out-of-the-just-making-stuff-up-business#comments Mon, 14 Dec 2009 12:05:19 +0000 Choire Sicha http://www.theawl.com/2009/12/karen-hughes-and-mark-penn-claim-theyre-out-of-the-just-making-stuff-up-business THE PENN AND THE SWORDAn exciting and phenomenally unintelligible press release went out this morning from Burson-Marsteller, the challenged PR and lobbying outfit that represented Blackwater, Colombia, Argentina and Union Carbide, as well as other extremely-challenged institutions. They are announcing that they have a new "methodology" which is "evidence-based"! I have no idea what this means. Your translations of this heaping pile of crazy are very welcome.

NEW YORK–(Business Wire)– Burson-Marsteller, a leading global public
relations and communications consultancy, announced today it has
adopted a new, data-focused approach to communications called
"Evidenced-Based Communications." During 2009, Burson-Marsteller
internally rolled out a new firm-wide methodology for developing,
monitoring and measuring communications programs. The approach was
developed by the firm's most experienced client leaders around the
globe. "The media and communications landscape is changing and so have
the needs of our clients." said Burson-Marsteller CEO Mark Penn. "In a
world of citizen journalism, social media and instant information
about events happening around the globe, we are investing in a more
diligent and scientific approach to developing and delivering key
messages." The Evidence-Based approach rests on Burson-Marsteller`s
tradition of thought leadership and research-driven programs. The firm
also plans to work closely on developing Evidence-Based programs with
its sister research firm Penn Schoen Berland, which was co-founded by
Mr. Penn. The Evidence-Based approach is designed to ensure that all
client programs are rooted in data. The approach also monitors
progress throughout the program to make certain that clients achieve
their original objectives. Results are measured to confirm the return
on investment (ROI). The firm launched Evidence-Based Communications
internally with training, seminars and workshops designed to help
staff integrate the approach into their client engagements and new
business proposals. As part of the effort, each Burson-Marsteller
practice will continuously develop Evidence-Based Tools to better
drive strategy and messages with data and measure the final ROI for
clients. The key benefits of Burson-Marsteller`s commitment to the
Evidence-Based approach are:

* Evidence-Based Communications ends the guess work. All
communications strategies are based in evidence, not speculation. * It
delivers better ROI. By using Evidence-Based Communications to develop
programs, the firm is ensuring that each client`s communications
dollars are spent on tactics and messages that will deliver results. *
It is measurable. By using Evidence-Based tools for benchmarking at
the beginning of a program and measuring effectiveness at the end,
clients can demonstrate a positive communications ROI. * The programs
are nimble. Because Burson-Marsteller measures the impact of a
program`s tactics at the beginning, middle and end of program, there
is an opportunity to modify tactics in the middle of a campaign. * It
is a holistic approach to communications. The Evidence-Based approach
is a complete methodology. The approach ensures a thorough use of data
and tools designed specifically to insert science into the process
where appropriate. * It provides proof of PR value to the
organization`s C-Suite. By using an Evidence-Based approach,
communications professionals can demonstrate the value that PR brings
to their organization at large.

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]]> THE PENN AND THE SWORDAn exciting and phenomenally unintelligible press release went out this morning from Burson-Marsteller, the challenged PR and lobbying outfit that represented Blackwater, Colombia, Argentina and Union Carbide, as well as other extremely-challenged institutions. They are announcing that they have a new "methodology" which is "evidence-based"! I have no idea what this means. Your translations of this heaping pile of crazy are very welcome.

NEW YORK–(Business Wire)– Burson-Marsteller, a leading global public
relations and communications consultancy, announced today it has
adopted a new, data-focused approach to communications called
"Evidenced-Based Communications." During 2009, Burson-Marsteller
internally rolled out a new firm-wide methodology for developing,
monitoring and measuring communications programs. The approach was
developed by the firm's most experienced client leaders around the
globe. "The media and communications landscape is changing and so have
the needs of our clients." said Burson-Marsteller CEO Mark Penn. "In a
world of citizen journalism, social media and instant information
about events happening around the globe, we are investing in a more
diligent and scientific approach to developing and delivering key
messages." The Evidence-Based approach rests on Burson-Marsteller`s
tradition of thought leadership and research-driven programs. The firm
also plans to work closely on developing Evidence-Based programs with
its sister research firm Penn Schoen Berland, which was co-founded by
Mr. Penn. The Evidence-Based approach is designed to ensure that all
client programs are rooted in data. The approach also monitors
progress throughout the program to make certain that clients achieve
their original objectives. Results are measured to confirm the return
on investment (ROI). The firm launched Evidence-Based Communications
internally with training, seminars and workshops designed to help
staff integrate the approach into their client engagements and new
business proposals. As part of the effort, each Burson-Marsteller
practice will continuously develop Evidence-Based Tools to better
drive strategy and messages with data and measure the final ROI for
clients. The key benefits of Burson-Marsteller`s commitment to the
Evidence-Based approach are:

* Evidence-Based Communications ends the guess work. All
communications strategies are based in evidence, not speculation. * It
delivers better ROI. By using Evidence-Based Communications to develop
programs, the firm is ensuring that each client`s communications
dollars are spent on tactics and messages that will deliver results. *
It is measurable. By using Evidence-Based tools for benchmarking at
the beginning of a program and measuring effectiveness at the end,
clients can demonstrate a positive communications ROI. * The programs
are nimble. Because Burson-Marsteller measures the impact of a
program`s tactics at the beginning, middle and end of program, there
is an opportunity to modify tactics in the middle of a campaign. * It
is a holistic approach to communications. The Evidence-Based approach
is a complete methodology. The approach ensures a thorough use of data
and tools designed specifically to insert science into the process
where appropriate. * It provides proof of PR value to the
organization`s C-Suite. By using an Evidence-Based approach,
communications professionals can demonstrate the value that PR brings
to their organization at large.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2009/12/karen-hughes-and-mark-penn-claim-theyre-out-of-the-just-making-stuff-up-business/feed 10 Mark Penn: Not Fired! http://www.theawl.com/2009/08/mark-penn-not-fired http://www.theawl.com/2009/08/mark-penn-not-fired#comments Thu, 27 Aug 2009 12:25:30 +0000 Choire Sicha http://www.theawl.com/2009/08/mark-penn-not-fired MARK PENN TO BE FIRED LATER TODAYThe Wall Street Journal gave Gawker a statement today, about their columnist Mark Penn, whose firm uses his column there to get clients! "Obviously when you have a contributor, they use a column to market themselves. Clearly what was done is not something that we liked. But we're pretty sure that it's going to stop." I am... amused? Angered? Skeeved? No wait: unimpressed.

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]]> MARK PENN TO BE FIRED LATER TODAYThe Wall Street Journal gave Gawker a statement today, about their columnist Mark Penn, whose firm uses his column there to get clients! "Obviously when you have a contributor, they use a column to market themselves. Clearly what was done is not something that we liked. But we're pretty sure that it's going to stop." I am... amused? Angered? Skeeved? No wait: unimpressed.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2009/08/mark-penn-not-fired/feed 2 The Mark Penn Getting Fired Watch: We're Waiting! http://www.theawl.com/2009/08/the-mark-penn-getting-fired-watch-were-waiting http://www.theawl.com/2009/08/the-mark-penn-getting-fired-watch-were-waiting#comments Wed, 26 Aug 2009 16:32:18 +0000 Choire Sicha http://www.theawl.com/2009/08/the-mark-penn-getting-fired-watch-were-waiting MARK PENN TO BE FIRED LATER TODAYThere's two shocking things regarding this news item about how political operative and "pollster" Mark Penn's company sprang into action to pitch to new clients on the back of the topics mentioned in Penn's Wall Street Journal column. One: that it's been up for two hours and the Journal hasn't fired Penn yet. Two: is that it's been two hours and it only has 2446 pageviews. I guess Gawker is sort of working on the HBO model-like how HBO documentary films head Sheila Nevins is always explaining how "Cathouse" and "Real Sex" essentially pays for documentaries about Iraq and poor people and stuff. So: their no-sex sex tapes pay for actual real things! Yay, I guess! Go read it! Which leads to another question: Why are a bunch of us running around saying that "news is the killer product" as a business model if actually maybe it's not? Ruh roh. In conclusion: Mark Penn sucks.

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]]> MARK PENN TO BE FIRED LATER TODAYThere's two shocking things regarding this news item about how political operative and "pollster" Mark Penn's company sprang into action to pitch to new clients on the back of the topics mentioned in Penn's Wall Street Journal column. One: that it's been up for two hours and the Journal hasn't fired Penn yet. Two: is that it's been two hours and it only has 2446 pageviews. I guess Gawker is sort of working on the HBO model-like how HBO documentary films head Sheila Nevins is always explaining how "Cathouse" and "Real Sex" essentially pays for documentaries about Iraq and poor people and stuff. So: their no-sex sex tapes pay for actual real things! Yay, I guess! Go read it! Which leads to another question: Why are a bunch of us running around saying that "news is the killer product" as a business model if actually maybe it's not? Ruh roh. In conclusion: Mark Penn sucks.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2009/08/the-mark-penn-getting-fired-watch-were-waiting/feed 4 Mark Penn Says What If? http://www.theawl.com/2009/05/mark-penn-says-what-if http://www.theawl.com/2009/05/mark-penn-says-what-if#comments Fri, 01 May 2009 13:00:57 +0000 Alex Balk http://www.theawl.com/2009/05/mark-penn-says-what-if "I WILL STAB MARK PENN IN THE FACE"Mark Penn, chief pollster for Hillary Clinton's 2008 presidential campaign, tells ABC that had John Edwards chosen not to run because of the whole affair-and-babymaking thing, "it would have been a very different race," because Edwards voters were "focused on demographics" and Hillary would have been their other white meat. "We will never know for sure," says Penn, for whose sterling services Clinton still owes $2.3 million, "but it will be the woulda, coulda, shoulda of this race." Or, you know, one of them.

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]]> "I WILL STAB MARK PENN IN THE FACE"Mark Penn, chief pollster for Hillary Clinton's 2008 presidential campaign, tells ABC that had John Edwards chosen not to run because of the whole affair-and-babymaking thing, "it would have been a very different race," because Edwards voters were "focused on demographics" and Hillary would have been their other white meat. "We will never know for sure," says Penn, for whose sterling services Clinton still owes $2.3 million, "but it will be the woulda, coulda, shoulda of this race." Or, you know, one of them.

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]]> http://www.theawl.com/2009/05/mark-penn-says-what-if/feed 7 Mark Penn Has Something To Say About Blogging! Crowd Round! http://www.theawl.com/2009/04/mark-penn-has-something-to-say-about-blogging-crowd-round http://www.theawl.com/2009/04/mark-penn-has-something-to-say-about-blogging-crowd-round#comments Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:56:53 +0000 Choire Sicha http://www.theawl.com/2009/04/mark-penn-has-something-to-say-about-blogging-crowd-round Mark Penn, publicist and pollster for corporate murdering outfits, dodgy mortgage companies and Hillary Clintons, strikes again in the Wall Street Journal-on the topic of blogging. Do not look! He is trying to make you blog about this-using the tactics of PETA and Aubrey O'Day! Okay, but did you know that nearly 1% of Americans earn income from blogging, according to Mark Penn? I do not believe that factoid for one minute. And yet it is still fewer than the number of Americans in prison.

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]]> Mark Penn, publicist and pollster for corporate murdering outfits, dodgy mortgage companies and Hillary Clintons, strikes again in the Wall Street Journal-on the topic of blogging. Do not look! He is trying to make you blog about this-using the tactics of PETA and Aubrey O'Day! Okay, but did you know that nearly 1% of Americans earn income from blogging, according to Mark Penn? I do not believe that factoid for one minute. And yet it is still fewer than the number of Americans in prison.

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