12. Manischewitz matzo crackers
11. Candy corn
10. Candy canes
9. Cranberry sauce
8. Leg of lamb
Some things aren’t as good as they used to be, but that isn't true of birth control. Some tips from the footnotes of history, used by women (and in some cases, men) far less fortunate than us:
• A pessary made of dried crocodile dung (Ancient Egypt)
• A mixture of olive oil and oil of cedar, placed in the vagina (recommended by Aristotle)
• Bloodletting, as current medical tradition held that sperm was merely blood turned white by the heat humor. The French physician Jacques Ferrand, author of A treatise on lovesickness, recommended that, if moderate bloodletting failed to dampen libido, the man must be bled until he "is [...]
37. "From Overseas" (Louis IV) 36. "The Posthumous" (John I) 35. "The Lazy" (Louis V) 34. "The Young" (Louis VII) 33. "The Stammerer" (Louis II) 32. "The Fat" (Louis VI) 31. "The Bald" (Charles II) 30. "The Short" (Pepin) 29. "The Tall" (Philip V) 28. "The Simple" (Charles III) 27. "The Handsome" (Philip IV, Charles IV) x 26. "The Pious" (Louis I, Robert II) 25. "The Father of the People" (Louis XII) 24. "The Great" (Charlemagne, Louis XIV, Napoleon I) 23. "The Good" (John II)
29. Misty Malarky Ying Yang, a Siamese cat belonging to the President’s daughter (Carter)
28. Washington Post, Yellow-Headed Mexican parrot (McKinley)
27. Maude, pig (Teddy Roosevelt)
26. Old Whitey, a horse the President had used during wartime and from whose tail White House visitors would pull hairs to keep as souvenirs (Zachary Taylor)
25. Old Whiskers, an ill-tempered goat who once escaped the White House lawn and had to be chased down Pennsylvania Avenue (Harrison)
24. Sweet Lips, Scentwell, Drunkard, Taster, Tipsy, Tipler, Lady Rover, Searcher, Mopsey, Captain, Vulcan, and Cloe, hounds (Washington)
• "[H]e went home and asked his mother for a big piece of cardboard. She gave him a dress box from the Bon Ton Store, which she had been saving."
• "Encyclopedia did not lift his eyes from his book, How to Build a Nuclear Reactor."
• "The Tigers were busy racing garter snakes."
• "The [egg]-spinning field was the smooth marble slab under the statue of Thomas Edison."
• "The Browns were having left-over meatloaf for dinner one night when the telephone rang."
"He grabbed my arm, urging me to have another, but I said I was overdue at the Press Club and hustled off to get my act together for the awful spectacle. At the airport newsstand I picked up a Courier-Journal and scanned the front page headlines: 'Nixon Sends GI's into Cambodia to Hit Reds'… 'B-52's Raid, then 20,000 GI's Advance 20 Miles"…' 4,000 U.S. Troops Deployed Near Yale as Tension Grows Over Panther Protest.' At the bottom of the page was a photo of Diane Crump, soon to become the first woman jockey ever to ride in the Kentucky Derby. The photographer had snapped her 'stopping in the barn area [...]