Some things aren’t as good as they used to be, but that isn't true of birth control. Some tips from the footnotes of history, used by women (and in some cases, men) far less fortunate than us:
• A pessary made of dried crocodile dung (Ancient Egypt)
• A mixture of olive oil and oil of cedar, placed in the vagina (recommended by Aristotle)
• Bloodletting, as current medical tradition held that sperm was merely blood turned white by the heat humor. The French physician Jacques Ferrand, author of A treatise on lovesickness, recommended that, if moderate bloodletting failed to dampen libido, the man must be bled until he "is [...]
37. "From Overseas" (Louis IV) 36. "The Posthumous" (John I) 35. "The Lazy" (Louis V) 34. "The Young" (Louis VII) 33. "The Stammerer" (Louis II) 32. "The Fat" (Louis VI) 31. "The Bald" (Charles II) 30. "The Short" (Pepin) 29. "The Tall" (Philip V) 28. "The Simple" (Charles III) 27. "The Handsome" (Philip IV, Charles IV) x 26. "The Pious" (Louis I, Robert II) 25. "The Father of the People" (Louis XII) 24. "The Great" (Charlemagne, Louis XIV, Napoleon I) 23. "The Good" (John II)
"He grabbed my arm, urging me to have another, but I said I was overdue at the Press Club and hustled off to get my act together for the awful spectacle. At the airport newsstand I picked up a Courier-Journal and scanned the front page headlines: 'Nixon Sends GI's into Cambodia to Hit Reds'… 'B-52's Raid, then 20,000 GI's Advance 20 Miles"…' 4,000 U.S. Troops Deployed Near Yale as Tension Grows Over Panther Protest.' At the bottom of the page was a photo of Diane Crump, soon to become the first woman jockey ever to ride in the Kentucky Derby. The photographer had snapped her 'stopping in the barn area [...]
Have you heard this new Action Bronson song? It's great. And yes, simple. Constructed around a Spanish horns sample looped up by producer Tommy Mas, it doesn't have a hook or a chorus or anything. In making such a song, one called "Simple Man," I mean, Bronson takes his place in a long, if not always proud tradition in pop music. There are lots of "Simple Man" songs. They are usually quite simple, and they usually start with a sentence right along the lines of, "I am just a simple man." (Kudos to Bronson for avoiding that.)
43. Dysfunctional Family TV Dramas 42. Dark Biographical 20th Century Period Pieces 41. Classic Goofy Musicals 40. Critically-acclaimed Underdog Dramas 39. Suspenseful Spy Movies Based on Real Life 38. Quirky Crime TV Shows 37. Feel-good Opposites-Attract Movies 36. Revenge Movies 35. Gory Action & Adventure 34. Romantic Gay & Lesbian Coming-of-age Movies 33. Critically-acclaimed Nature & Ecology Documentaries 32. Gritty Conspiracy Movies 30. Controversial Courtroom Movies 31. Campy Prison Movies
Now that we've looked at presidential pets and favorite foods, let's explore their honeymoons. It's difficult to judge which has been the most romantic presidential honeymoon in history; possibly a draw between the Nixons' canned pork-and-beans for breakfast or the honeymoon hours spent by the newlywed wife of Woodrow Wilson compiling the index of a new edition of his book Congressional Government, A Study in American Politics. In any case, if we were to rank presidents in order of greatness of their honeymoons, it would give us a system that might place otherwise mediocre or downright awful presidents at the top, and America's best leaders near the bottom. [...]
84-65 (tie). Titus (died in AD 81), Nerva (98), Trajan (117), Hadrian (138), Antoninus Pius (161), Marcus Aurelius (180), Septimius Severus (211), Tacitus (276), Constantius I (306), Gallerius (311), Constantine I (337), Constantius II (361), Theodosius I (395), Arcadius (408), Constantius III (421), Honorious (423), Marcian (457), Libius Severus (465), Olybrius (472), Leo I (474): Natural causes.
64. Vespasian (79): Natural causes; quipped "Uh oh, I think I'm becoming a God" as he died.
63. Diocletian (311): Abdicated voluntarily, lived for six more years in his vast palace compound tending to his vegetable gardens before dying of natural causes.
62. Romulus (~500): Forced to abdicate, sent off to [...]
"Most women act as though they're sexual Olympians, as though they're doing the men in their lives the greatest of favors merely by presenting themselves like a downed deer strapped to the hood of a car. Some of you are deluding yourselves…. Like, maybe grab a mirror and spend some time learning how your own body works. It's nice, too, when you don't treat our semen like it's battery acid." —Chris Jones, Esquire.
I can't stop listening to this new song from Rick Ross's Maybach Music Group. Oh, excuse me, that's "The Untouchable Empire" Maybach Music Group. It's a great song. (Man, do I love Gunplay's verse! "Where's YOUR sea bass?!") Of course, once again, the gorgeous, gorgeous beat these guys have come up with is offset by some high-post ridiculousness (Ross says "the square root of a kilo is me," says Ross) and lots of unashamed cliche. The "Untouchable" honorific is as good an example of this as any. It's not exactly an original choice.
"As I said, we don’t know how this will go. But it’s hard not to feel a sense of foreboding—and to worry that the nation’s already badly damaged faith in the Supreme Court’s ability to stand above politics is about to take another severe hit." —Paul Krugman is his good, gloomy, all-too-probably right self today. And while we all play seer and try to figure out just what justice Kennedy might be thinking, here are ten great songs (and one just so-so song, and one really dreadfully terrible song) about trying to see into the future, and the futility, usually, of trying to do so.