Posts Tagged: Listicle Without Commentary
6

'I Want You,' In Order of How Badly You Are Really Wanted

21. Utah Saints

20. Third Eye Blind

19. Martin Solveig

19

The 50 Best Versions Of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas," In Order

50. Twisted Sister (H)

49. Tamar Braxton (H)

Lyric Legend: M - “Until then we’ll have to muddle through somehow” used H – “Hang a shining star upon the highest bough” used M/W - Both used

48. John Denver & The Muppets (H)

47. Christina Aguilera (H/M)

46. Jessica Simpson (H)

45. Michael Bolton (H)

44. Neil Diamond (H)

43. Joe (H)

42. Clay Aiken (H)

41. Kelly Clarkson (H)

40. John Travolta & Olivia Newton John (H)

39. Captain & Tennille (H)

38. Scott Weiland (M)

37. Sufjan Stevens (H)

3

Names of 'Guardian' Reader's Pets in Order of Relative 'Guardian'-Readerness

  • Bob
  • Audrey
  • Douglas
  • Sophie
  • Hodge
  • Rick
  • Otto
  • Benny
  • Elmer
  • Pepper
  • Rasputin
  • Princess Poppy Purrington
  • Fritz
  • Chumley
4

The Cast of "12 Angry Men" in Order of Hotness

12. Juror #10

11. Juror #9

10. Juror #3

9. Juror #7

8. Juror #4

1

The Short Stories Of George Saunders So Far, In Order

35. "The Semplica Girl Diaries"

34. "Puppy"

33. "My Amendment"

32. "I CAN SPEAK™"

31. "Al Roosten"

30. "93990"

29. "The Barber's Unhappiness"

28. "Bohemians"

27. "Pastoralia"

26. "Tenth of December"

25. "Winky"

24. "The Falls"

26

The Smashing Pumpkins, 1991-2000, In Order

151. “French Movie Theme” 150. “Annie-Dog” 149. “Pastachio Medley” 148. “The Boy” 147. “Bugg Superstar 146. “Spaced” 145. “Pulseczar” 144. “A Night Like This” 143. “Take Me Down” 142. “Shame” 141. “Glass and the Ghost Children” 140. “Medellia of the Gray Skies” 139. “Rotten Apples” 138. “La Dolly Vita” 137. “Meladori Magpie” 136. “The Bells” 135.17134. “Tonite Reprise” 133. “Blank” 132. “Pennies”

3

Other New York Times Opinion Writers Who Must Be Punished, Like Nate Silver, For Discussing Gambling

  • "I’d bet anything that if the president staked out such an Obama Plan, Buffett and a lot of other business leaders would endorse it."—Thomas Friedman
  • "To his immense credit he took a big gamble on killing Osama Bin Laden."—Roger Cohen
  • "I’ll bet he’s not a Charlie Stross reader; if he were, he’d know about the scene in The Jennifer Morgue involving a PowerPoint presentation that turns anyone who watches it into a murderous zombie."—Paul Krugman
  • "The bet Punch Sulzberger made his whole career is that people wanted — and would pay for — great journalism."—Joe Nocera
  • "If I had to bet which candidate was [...]
17

Trains, In Order

12. Crazy Train

11. Long Train Runnin'

10. Peace Train

9. C'mon N' Ride It (The Train)

11

Things That Changed The World, From Least Changey to Most Changey

Mauve

Mr. Hornaday, a peculiar Victorian zookeeper

Guinness

The banana

Temple Grandin

The 1960 Olympics in Rome

Indigo

A topographic map which shows a delineation of the strata of England and Wales

Pepper

The Triangle Shirtwaist Fire *

Cod

The 1893 Columbian Exposition *

The year 1959 **

The battle of Thermopylae

The friendship between Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony

January [...]

16

Nobel Literature Laureates, In Order

109. Frédéric Mistral, 1904

108. Winston Churchill, 1953

107. Pearl S. Buck, 1938

105 (tie). Harry Martinson, 1974

105 (tie). Eyvind Johnson, 1974

104. William Golding, 1983

103. Jacinto Benavente, 1922

102. John Galsworthy, 1932

101. Odysseus Elytis, 1979

100. Camilo José Cela, 1989

99. Rudyard Kipling, 1907

98. Roger Martin du Gard, 1937

97. John Steinbeck, 1962

96. Hermann Hesse, 1946

95. Sinclair Lewis, 1930

94. Paul Heyse, 1910

93. Vicente Aleixandre, 1977

92. Rudolf Christoph Eucken, 1908

91. V.S. Naipaul, 2001

90. Pablo Neruda, 1971

7

Best Guesses At Prince's Email Address

• prince@prince.com

• ☩

• ⸮((¯°·._.• ρяɨɲȼ€ •._.·°¯))?

• purplerain69@aol.com

• bballboy@hotmail.com

• ifuwant2emailme@gmail.com

• RIDEmy♞@yahoo.com

11

The Last Lines, In Order, Of Every Major Character In The "30 Rock" Finale

16. Liz: She'll be like, "Whaaat?" (41:48)

15. Jack: Wait, you're Sam? (42:16)

14. Grizz: Wait, you're Sam? Don't even say it. (41:26)

13. Kenneth: So the whole show just takes place here at 30 Rockefeller Plaza—is that right, Ms. Lemon? [Yes sir...] I know, and I love it. (42:28)

12. Dot Com: Tracy is exactly where you think he is, Liz. It's the closest thing he has to hiding out in a church. (30:50)

4

Hidden Motivations Of Video Game Characters, In Order

39. Fun

38. Game rating, theme, plot eliminates need to urinate, file taxes, experience bodily shame.

37. Lifelong contempt of evolutionary theory culminating in ill-thought out plan to stop rampaging monkey, without consulting police, humane society, press, etc.

36. Failure to understand nuances of newly installed alien government.

35. No school will hire substitute teacher named Solid Snake.

34. Prefer being shot at, stomped upon, devoured by monsters, spine mutilation, to honest conversation with friends, family, spouse.

33. Non-raiding, -assassin, -bloodsport job felt too "corporate."

29

Taylor Swift's Analogies, In Order Of Incomprehensibility

23. You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard.

22. The moon like a spotlight on the lake.

21. Today was a fairytale.

20. I need you like a heartbeat.

19. Spinning like a girl in a brand-new dress.

18. You're just another picture to burn.

17. You call me up again just to break me like a promise.

16. Untouchable, like a distant diamond sky.

1

Velveeta's Online Presences, in Order

The worst thing about holiday travel is when the airline loses the one bag that contains ALL OF AMERICA’S VELVEETA SUPPLY.

— VELVEETA (@EatLiquidGold) January 8, 2014

8. VELVEETA, Pinterest

7. VELVEETA, Facebook

6. VELVEETA, Kraft.com

5. Eat Liquid Gold, Twitter

4. Eat Liquid Goldr, Tumblr

3. VELVEETA, Instagram

2. VELVEETA.com

1. Eat Liquid Gold, YouTube

Edith Zimmerman is the founding editor of The Hairpin.

27

American Cities I'd Prefer To See Get Blown Up In The Movies Instead of New York

30. Providence

29. Little Rock

28. Des Moines

27. Houston

26. Olympia

25. Cincinnati

24. Fargo

23. Omaha

22. Albuquerque

21. Louisville

20. Orlando

19. St. Paul

18. Las Vegas

17. Denver

16. Seattle

15. Memphis

5

An Entire Human Life Cycle As Dictated By Quora's Recommendation Algorithm

18

The Titles of Philip K. Dick’s Novels, In Order of Sheer Awesomeness

46. Nick and the Glimmung

45. Galactic Pot-Healer

44. The Zap Gun

43. Mary and the Giant

42. A Maze of Death

41. The Game-Players of Titan

40. The Broken Bubble

39. Dr. Bloodmoney, or How We Got Along After the Bomb

38. The Ganymede Takeover

37. Voices from the Street

36. Deus Irae

6

Victoria Grayson's Unfortunate History As A Hamptons Hostess, In Chronological Order

• Last night's Charity Wine Auction: Two guests kidnapped from elevator as they're leaving the party.

• Liberty Project benefit dinner: Wife of a Supreme Court nominee reveals to assembled guests that her husband beats her, is crooked judge.

• Thanksgiving dinner: Victoria discloses to guests that at age 15 she was forced to shoot a man and take the blame for his death.

• Second wedding to Conrad: Groom toted off by police during the reception.

14

New York City Subway Lines, In Order, That We Miss Terribly

25. C

24. S (Franklin Avenue Shuttle)

23. R

22. G

21. A

20. 7

19. 1

18. J