Things Chris Jones Wished Women Treated His Semen Like

"Most women act as though they're sexual Olympians, as though they're doing the men in their lives the greatest of favors merely by presenting themselves like a downed deer strapped to the hood of a car. Some of you are deluding yourselves…. Like, maybe grab a mirror and spend some time learning how your own body works. It's nice, too, when you don't treat our semen like it's battery acid." —Chris Jones, Esquire.
20) Fire Jolly Ranchers
19) Arby's Jamocha Shake
18) Soft-Boiled Egg
17) Melted Toffifay Candy
16) Steri-Fab Bed Bug Killer
15) Grape Snow Cone



